Dragging Pegs
by Jonesn
Summary: Like clockwork the bittersweet end of August rolled around, bringing with it the steady rumble of motorcycles for the annual biker rodeo. Only this time it was different. This time it brought Masen. AH MC Bikerward
1. Chapter 1

Betad by kitchmill. Who needs to finish her fic. (Go bug her) Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie. Who needs to write whatever, just something so I can read it. (Go bug her, too. Thanks.)

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Thank you to everyone who helped decide on a title. Lay especially for coming up with thee title. I usually have title and summary before I've written much. However, this time I had 16 complete prewritten chaps. Around 25k words first. It's not yet finished but I'll be posting a chap a week until I reach chap 17 and get blocked or until it's complete. Either way, I'll give you what I got.

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Dragging Pegs — Leaning so far into a curve that the foot pegs drag on the road surface — **not done on purpose**

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1

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Every year like clockwork the bittersweet end of August rolled around, bringing with it the start of a new school year and the steady rumble of motorcycles as they passed back and forth through town.

One by one, RVs, cars, and bikes alike lined up outside the entrance to the county fairgrounds, patiently waiting for the gates to open so they could finally set up to party. And party they did. All. Week. Long.

I wasn't complaining. Not one bit. With all the ruckus came fun and excitement. But more importantly, it brought in cash.

Over the course of the next seven days, small fortunes would be thrown at local businesses, some making in one week what they normally would in a year. It breathed energy into a tired place. Fueled the schools' dwindling music and arts programs. Damn near every sport and extracurricular activity that wasn't High School Varsity depended on it to survive these days.

So no, I wasn't complaining. Not about the noise. Not about losing a few peaceful nights of sleep. And definitely not about the fact my son Brady would get to play another season of the sport he loved more than his PlayStation 4. The only thing you'd hear me complaining about was the heat.

I was over it. Over summer. Had been for some time. There was a limit to the number of camping trips and mosquito bites I was willing to withstand. It was too hot to go on living, let alone be outside on a day like today, all sticky and sitting in a puddle of my own sweat. I was done with sweating.

There were moments, much like this one, where I'd questioned whether my eight-year-old son's happiness was worth all the suffering I went through. But deep down I knew it was. He was always worth it.

"The humidity's enough to kill ya," Angela said, sitting down beside me and handing over a cold bottle of water. She was nice that way. As was her husband Ben and their son Embry. Him and my boy were best friends, which meant we had to be, too.

"Thanks. I'll pay you back."

Angela shook her head, waving me off as she took a drink. I didn't have the strength to argue with her. Instead I used what energy I had to tie my long brown hair up on top of my head and roll the cool bottle down the back of my neck.

Angela and I were complete opposites but we made a good team. This was our second year working the Little Wolves booth together. Our mission was to sell raffle tickets and loads of them. Those new uniforms weren't going to pay for themselves. They never did. There was no denying that.

The prize for the winning raffle wasn't much, considering. Just some scratchy Little Wolves T-shirt from Newton's Embroidery. Mike Newton was the owner, as well as the father of Garrett Newton who the kids referred to by his locally famous last name. In addition, Mike was the kids' coach and a shameless flirt. The second and much less impressive prize was free admission to the last football game of the season. Because what weirdo wouldn't want to spend their Saturday afternoon watching kids run around when they weren't parentally obligated to?

"It's hotter than Satan's butt crack out here. What time is it? Is it two yet? What's the temperature?" Angela spouted off question after question, simultaneously looking up the answers on her phone while I got up to sell off a few more tickets.

Plopping back down in my seat, I opened my water and looked out over the growing number of tipsy people as I drank.

There were an alarming amount of leather vests and combat boots. The sight alone practically threw me into premature hot flashes. The only black leather I would have touching me in this heat were the straps of my sandals. And even those were pushing it.

I was this close slipping them off and swapping out the ribbed Tiny Wolves tank for a damp bandana wrap. But this was for a school function. The length of my cutoffs alone was gonna get me hell at the next PTA meeting.

"If Tanya catches wind of you wearing those she's gonna eat you alive. You know that, right?" Claire's mom, Alice, chimed in from behind Angela and me.

I shrugged. If Tanya was anything like her kid she wouldn't be catching a damn thing.

Hopping out of her seat, Angela greeted her replacement. "You're here early. Bless you."

The two embraced then Angela hugged my neck from behind, promising to see us later before sprinting out of the booth as if her ass were lit by Beelzebub himself.

Alice took her seat with an exasperated huff.

"At least I won't be suffering Tanya the Tyrant's wrath alone." I gestured to Alice's outfit. Last I checked, strapless maxis weren't on the approved dress code. "You're not wearing a stitch of Little Wolves attire."

"Not true."

"No?"

Alice shook her head, fingering the charm on her necklace. "See? It's a wolf. My Claire got it for me for my birthday last month. Isn't it cute? She's such a sweet kid."

"The sweetest."

She really was, especially when running around with a football in her freshly manicured hands.

It was an anomaly, really. Claire was the first and only girl in the county's history to try out for the football team. It made the paper and everything. As a former homecoming queen and confessed attentionaholic, Alice was equally as mortified as she was proud.

"So how are we doing so far? Have we met the tyrant's midday quota?" Alice asked, peeking over her sunglasses.

Handing her a few rolls of tickets, I peeked back over mine and gave her a smug smile. "Surpassed it, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the clubs have been _real_ generous this year. That or they have a wager going on who can donate the most money. Either way we're benefiting from it."

"Nice."

Our heads snapped toward the intruding male voice. I pushed my sunglasses back up my nose, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I turned around in my seat.

"Hey, Mike." Alice sounded about as enthused as I was to see him. "I thought you weren't supposed to be here 'til five."

"I wasn't. Jessica showed up this weekend for Garrett, so I figured I'd stop by and see if there's anything I can do."

Jessica Newton had up and left Mike and Garrett two years ago. Last I'd heard she was living in Vegas with some Black Jack dealer. Mike was graceful enough to let her see her kid whenever she randomly decided to pop back into town.

"You guys got enough tickets there?"

"We'll get by." Alice assured him.

Silence set in so Mike started drumming on something behind us. I hated when he did that.

I closed my eyes to try and center myself, opening them back up to catch a group of guys staring at the booth from across the crowd.

"So, I drew up a few more plays …" Mike's voice drifted in and out while I pretended to be interested in what he was saying, attention remaining on the group of guys.

One in particular.

Given the distance, fine details were hard to make out but I could tell he was the "handsome" one, but in that rugged sort of way. Like James Dean with a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve and a five o'clock shadow. If possible, his dark hair was wilder with no products containing the sides. The gray T-shirt he had on was well worn with a tear at the collar. His shoulders filled it out nicely, rounding down to a pair of strong arms that were littered with colorful tattoos.

My gaze roamed back up to his face, my stomach dropping when he smirked. I glanced away without returning the smile.

"Who were you looking at?" Alice asked with a knowing smirk on her face.

See, smirks were no good. Smirks got you into trouble. As did dimples. I was a sucker for a good dimple.

"No one."

"Okay. Okay. But seriously, which one is he? Point him out to me."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, come on, come on."

"No."

Customers started lining up. I rose from my seat to get away from Alice and greet them. When the last person in line approached I nearly choked on my tongue.

Long fingers lifted black Oakleys to nest in a mess of brown hair. Green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, fine laugh lines framing them. That smirk of his wasn't so easy to ignore up close and personal. Especially when I didn't have the option to look away.

Yeah, handsomely rugged didn't even begin to cover it.

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Hoodie and I have both written new OS' for the Babies at the Border cause and compilation. Look the group up on fb and request to join for summaries and banners for all the submissions. Please consider a donation whether it's monetary or something new you've written but haven't posted. Either will get you a copy of the compilation of all new stories or possible continuations of stories you know and love. But mostly, take satisfaction in knowing that you'd be helping those poor little babies at the border who are being treated so horribly. I can't imagine the pain and suffering these families are going through. Not to mention the long term effects this kind of mistreatment will have on everyone. Especially those susceptible babes. It's unacceptable and makes me sick.

Please consider donating. Every little bit helps.

And thanks, you guys for considering and reading. I've missed and love you all x


	2. Chapter 2

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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Someone noticed this sounded a bit familiar. And yes, I did enter a New Years os based in Australia that was a chopped up version of the beginning of this story. I had this written and had a hankering to enter a contest so I tweaked it. However, this beginning doesn't completely go the same as that os and this is way longer.

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Yeah, this is early. Y'all know me. I can't stick to a schedule for shit.

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2

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"Little Wolves," he read off of the sign. His voice was deep. It vibrated through me like the rumble of a powerful engine. "Any of those Little Wolves yours?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes, actually. That one. Brady." I pointed him out in the picture. Dimples and all. "He plays fullback. Just like his father." Got the dimples from him, too. But why in the hell was I bringing all that into this? I was such an idiot.

The curve of the guy's lips settled into a straight line. Glancing down at my left hand he made the slightest movement away and crossed his arms over his chest. "Your husband plays, too?"

"Well, played. But he's not my husband."

Before I could finish telling him how I'd never been married Mike slid in between us, holding his hand out across the front of the booth for a handshake.

"Hey, man. I'm Mike. Mike Newton from Newton's Embroidery and head coach of the Little Wolves. And you are?"

The guy shook Mike's hand. "Masen Edwards."

"Ah well, you lookin' to help the kids out today? I know they would surely appreciate it."

Alice and I exchanged a look. What the hell was he even still doing here? We were fine on tickets, didn't need any help and he wasn't supposed to be here until five.

"You from around these parts?" Mike asked, getting off the subject as he often did.

"About an hour north of here. Just transferred from Chicago."

"You don't say. What is it you do for a living? If you don't mind my asking."

Smiling, the guy rubbed his chin. "No, I don't mind." Almost seemed amused by it. "I'm an aircraft maintenance engineer."

"Oh, so you do maintenance," Mike said as if he considered the mere word beneath him.

If my eyes could shoot laser beams they would have burned a hole right through the back of Mike's dumb head.

"On aircrafts, yes. You know, airplanes, helicopters—"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Sometimes work on the guys' bikes when needed."

"Got it. So uh, how many tickets can I get for ya then?"

Masen Edwards, the aircraft maintenance engineer from up north who sometimes worked on bikes barely thought about it. "How much for the whole lot?"

All three of us gaped at him in unison.

"That's not necessary," I started, but Mike lifted his hand to stop me.

"Let's not be hasty now. You're telling me you want to buy the rest of these raffle tickets?"

"Depending on how much it'll run me I guess, but yeah."

Mike looked over at me then at Alice.

"Does this mean I can go home?" Alice asked.

Ignoring her, Mike swiveled his head back to me. I shrugged.

"Twenty-five hundred," Mike spouted off randomly.

My eyes darted back and forth from him to Masen. They went wide as saucers when Masen reached for his wallet and whipped out a credit card.

"Sorry, bud. Cash only." Mike smirked, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest.

"No, wait!" Alice exclaimed and grabbed her purse. "Just give me a second here." She circled the contents a few times before pulling out her trusty card swiper she used for those who obtained her services. Alice was a traveling masseuse, hairdresser slash nail technician, and prodigal entrepreneur all rolled up into one tiny, adorable woman.

Dropping the purse back down on the ground she joined us. "Okay, let me see that." Reaching past an annoyed Mike she grabbed then swiped the credit card. "All right, so, this will go straight into my account. Monday morning I'll just withdraw the twenty-five hundred and give you the cash at practice," she explained to Mike, handing Masen his card back before having him sign his twenty-five hundred dollars away.

"Thank you for your business!" Alice sang then threw the device back in her purse.

At that point Mike had no choice but to concede. He held out his hand again. "Appreciate it, man. This'll mean a great deal to the kids."

Masen nodded and took Mike's hand in his.

"So, we closing up shop or what?" Alice asked impatiently, pulling the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

Tail tucked between his legs, Mike stepped away to start cleaning up around the booth.

I stepped closer to this practical stranger who'd just paid for every kid's uniform and then some. "I can't believe you did that. Really. It's just … too generous." And crazy. "I feel like I owe you or something," I said idiotically.

His brow raised.

"I mean, I'm just saying. It's a lot of money." And it was _his_ money, _his_ choice. I didn't owe him anything for it. I didn't ask him to do it. I knew that.

I also knew that I needed to shut up but I just couldn't get over it. I'd always, always lived paycheck to paycheck and then this guy swoops in with enough cash to cover three of my mortgage payments.

His surprise morphed into amusement and he smiled. "Okay well, if you really feel that way, I suppose your name would do."

"My name? Twenty-five _hundred_ dollars and all you want is my name."

"And the raffle tickets."

I breathed out a soft laugh. "Right."

"Yep, those'll do me. For now."

Those last two words put a fire in my chest. It burned out just as quickly as it ignited, and I grabbed up the last of the tickets to hand over.

"All right, so, let's have it." He gestured with his hand.

"Have what?" I asked, remembering the deal the very moment he reminded me. "Oh, right. Shit. Sorry. It's Bella. I'm Bella." I flattened my palm on my chest. My heart beat erratically against it. "Bella Swan." And a spaz now, apparently. Either that or this guy was making me this way.

"Well, Bella, will I be seeing you around or did I just run you all off?"

"Pretty much ran us off," I joked, though I didn't think it came across that way.

Masen's face sort of fell. "Oh well, that wasn't my intention."

"No, of course not. I was only kidding." Just not very well, I guessed.

"Okay, so that means you'll still be around then?"

"Oh. Uh, I'm not sure about that." No way I was hanging around this crazy place just for the fun of it. "This isn't really my s—"

"Son's dad's scheduled night." Alice swooped in as I was just about to explain how this wasn't my scene. "So, she doesn't have a sitter. But she will tomorrow night, right?"

I looked over at her. She yelled at me with her eyes to agree. "Right, Bella?"

"Right. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have a sitter."

Alice nodded, smiling at Masen. "So, five o'clock tomorrow. Same place. You'll be here?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll be here."

"Okay, good. Well, we should get going. Can't keep the kids waiting. See you tomorrow then, Masen." Alice waved and grabbed my arm to drag me out of the booth with her.

"All right. See you tomorrow." Masen gave a gentlemanly nod, keeping eye contact as I backed away. "Bella."

I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of him either. "Yeah, see ya."


	3. Chapter 3

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own. I've changed/added/subtracted/cut a chap and added to 2 others since D so yea, mistakes are definitely all mine.

Preread by Hoodie.

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This early post is dedicated to all the night shifters who had to work an extra hour today / Sorry, Boos x

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3

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"All right, final warning," I said from the doorway to Brady's room. "Five minutes and we're out of here. I mean it, mister. Get up!"

I headed to the kitchen to grab a Pop-Tart for both our breakfasts. Neither one of us were morning people, which always made for a challenging start to the day. Sometimes on the weekend I actually tried to be a good mom and made real food for breakfast. But until I got a personality transplant and became a morning person, packaged goods would have to do for the weekdays.

"Brady Robert!"

"I'm coming!" he bellowed in his father's same booming voice, muttering something under his breath before moping into the kitchen to grab his bag from the chair and the Pop-Tart from my hand.

I knew better than to speak to him until I'd pulled up to the curb for drop-off, where I wished him a good day then kissed my fingers and touched them to his cheek. God forbid I leaned over and kissed him for real. He would die of humiliation.

From there I headed to the free clinic where I worked as a volunteer nurse for four hours a week. If I could do more I would. This clinic had been a lifesaver for my mom and me when I was growing up.

After my dad was killed in the line of duty, we received a lump sum of life insurance but lost the medical, dental, and vision aspect of it. This place had it all on certain days at certain times, all free.

I saw my mom and myself in a lot of these single-parent families who walked in and out of here, desperate and sick, just looking for a break.

Going to nursing school was my way out of the cycle. A way to take care of myself and my own. Volunteering my time to the less fortunate was my way of giving back for our break.

The majority of the morning consisted of fussy kids with ear infections and a handful of near misses with projectile vomit. They were just lucky they were cute.

Besides that, the fast paced vomit-dodging made the day go quicker. Before I could say Promethazine my shift was over and it was time to head over to Jake's Gym just down the street.

High fiving Jake himself, I headed to the back to change into something more flexible before having my ass handed to me.

When I first started working out, it was at one of those fancy gyms with a smoothie bar and women who were way thinner than me running around in nothing but leotards. Needless to say, that didn't last long.

I'd almost given up and accepted I'd be overweight forever until I noticed the small sign in Jake's window letting the public know they were offering free sessions for kick-boxing.

I was skeptical when I first walked in. The place was straight up old school like in Rocky. But that was what I ended up liking most about it. No pop music piping overhead. No obnoxious group classes. No treadmills, no elliptical machines. No beautiful, thin women flaunting their tight, perfect bodies in your face. Here you lifted. You used your body. You pulled on a pair of boxing gloves and sparred the sweat out and the fat off.

"Two more reps," Paul—my own personal younger, cuter Mickey—said, but really meant seven. After a year of him training me I had picked up on the torturous games he played.

Once I finished the two reps with the weighted barbell Paul demanded one more, then another until I'd done five more total. I did a sixth just to be a smartass and maybe show off my progress a little.

"Just for that, give me five burpees."

I groaned, dropping the bar in its slot, but Paul ignored me.

"Now. Go." Widening his stance, he crossed his arms over his chest to better appreciate my pain. "See you do an extra one of those."

A year ago I wouldn't have been able to pick myself up off the floor once I got there. I could barely do a push-up on my knees the first month. I'd come a long way from where I'd first started. The gut was gone, the back fat had melted away, my butt was rounded out, and my arms had actually formed into some sort of shape besides wings.

I felt great. More than great. I felt strong. I felt happy, healthy, excited to be alive. Most of the time.

That excitement turned to anxiety when I remembered Alice and my plans tonight. The plans she planned in front of me but without me. I could have killed her for it. Put my hands around her scrawny little neck and strangled her.

"Last one. Hold for a count of ten on the high plank."

Fuck, I hated planking. I hated Paul.

Sweat poured from my hairline and rushed toward my eyes. I squeezed them shut, wiping my forehead on my shirt sleeve.

My arms shook beneath my weight but I held it together until the countdown stopped then I crumbled, rolling to my back.

"I want another trainer," I huffed at him.

"You wouldn't know what to do without me."

"I'd get by."

"Any other trainer wouldn't know what to do with you."

I lay there breathing heavily while Paul stood over me staring down, a look in his eyes I'd never seen before. Or maybe just one I'd never let myself notice, like Alice had mentioned when we were leaving the fairgrounds yesterday.

"_You had no idea that Masen guy was hitting on you, did you?_" she had asked and shook her head when I shrugged. It wasn't like it happened everyday.

According to Alice, Masen had been fishing for information the whole conversation. Said it was almost painful to witness how oblivious I was.

"I've been meaning to ask. Emmett giving you any more trouble lately?"

"Always." Finally having caught my breath, I took a much needed sip from my water bottle.

"Well, if it gets to be too much, me and the guys are always here, ready and willing to put him in his place. Just say the word and it's done."

Lifting a brow, I lowered the bottle from my lips and recapped it, letting out a quiet laugh. "Thanks, but it's not that serious."

Paul nodded, grabbing a towel to wipe down some of the equipment we'd been using.

"So, you got any plans for this evening?" he asked, catching me off guard. He'd never asked me that before. "Some of the guys are going out tonight. Figured you might want to come along. Get out of the house for awhile or something."

"Oh. Uh … Yeah, actually. I do. My friend Alice is dragging me back out to the rodeo to meet up with this guy. But thanks."

"For her?"

"Huh?"

"The guy. You're meeting him for her?"

"Oh, kind of. Though, I think it's more of a set up."

Paul nodded again, reaching a hand out to help me up, pulling so hard I pretty much slammed into his chest. My hand flew to his peck in an attempt to balance myself. I immediately pulled it away.

"Sorry." Head down in embarrassment I tried to back up.

"What for?" Paul asked, keeping me in place by not letting go of my hand.

"Uh ..." Not knowing what to do I laughed lightly. "Not being able to accept the invitation, I guess." I shrugged. "The inappropriate touching." I lifted the hand he didn't still have a hold of, gesturing out the act of grabbing his incredibly solid man boob.

He ended up laughing, too.

I felt like an idiot.

"It's no problem."

"Okay well, same time next week?" I asked, my heart pounding.

What the hell was going on with the men in this town? Was there something in the air? Had they all been drugged? Or had it always been like this and I just hadn't noticed? Could I really be as oblivious as Alice said?

Nodding, Paul finally let go of me and put his fist out.

I pounded it, same as always, then took off for the locker room. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

…

"You just don't see yourself like others do. You never have_. _I mean, it's endearing, really," Alice said. I had just shared what had happened with Paul while we were getting ready for the evening ahead. "You were a hottie before you got into shape and you're even more of one now. You have a beautiful face and flawless, olive-toned skin. Long, gorgeous brown hair. All the moms hate you. Except for Angela and me, of course. We love you. But the others have always hated you."

"They have?" There I was thinking it was the other way around.

"Well, yeah. Why else wouldn't they invite you to the get-togethers?"

"There are get-togethers?" I asked, bemused.

Alice nodded. "Every Sunday night."

"And they ask you to these get togethers?"

"Every damn week."

"Do you go?"

"Hell no. Not once. I have a busy life and Sunday nights are for soaking in my brand new bathtub. It's so deep the hot water runs cold and I have to boil water to finish filling it." Alice looked off in a daze for a brief moment, a longing look on her face before shaking her head. "Besides, I can't stand those bitches. You know that."

I pursued my lips in thought.

"Don't worry so much. It makes your forehead wrinkle." Alice grabbed my hair and tugged. "Everything's going to be fine once we get a few drinks in ya. You'll see," she promised, handing me a pregame cocktail. "It's not like I'm asking you to marry the guy, just to take that new bod out for a spin with him. Let loose a little, ya know?" Alice shimmied, her reflection slyly smiling at mine in the mirror in front of us.

"I know you want to. The connection between you two was electric. I could feel it. Mike could, too. Why else you think he stepped in between you the way he did? No one wants to take you out for a test drive more than Mike, except for maybe Masen, and it has him shook. He's had his eyes on you for a long time. Even before Jess left."

"Stop." This conversation was making me ill. Thank God Brady was at Alice's house with her mother. We'd both be mortified if he heard a peep of this conversation.

"I know what I'm talking about, Bella. Have you even had sex since you and Emmett split up?"

"With another person?"

"That's what I thought. Such a waste of a good Brazilian."

I chose to not engage, sipping my drink and trying to forget the time I let Alice test different waxes on my poor unsuspecting nethers.

"Your split ends are terrible. You really need to stop fiddling with your hair so much. The dark shade makes them stick out like a sore thumb. Mind if I cut off a few inches? It'll still be well below your shoulders."

"Sure. I'm due for a trim anyway." I couldn't remember the last time I had my hair cut or makeup and nails done. I had been so focused on losing the weight I didn't even think about the rest of the package.

But that ended today.

It ended now.

Alice bypassed the concealer and foundation and went for a more bronzed look. Light and shiny on lips, long and dark on lashes after she had me wipe my whole body down with dry oil.

"This way you'll be nice and soft when he touches you. And that smell." She sniffed my exposed shoulder. "He won't be able to control himself."

"Jesus, Alice. What are you, my pimp?"

"I wish. I'd make a small fortune off of you."

I smacked her arm with the back of my hand. She grabbed my wrist and got started filing my nails. After a prime and paint I was ready to be clothed.

Alice pulled out a black, strapless bra and short, crocheted halter top. "You wear this bra underneath like it's part of the top," she explained as I fingered the holey fabric. Half in shock, half in excitement that she thought I could possibly pull this off. "It'll lie just below your ribs and this …" she pulled a red, flowy, flowery skirt out of her bag. "This rests high on your waist, above your belly button but right below the top so there's just a sliver of stomach showing."

Hesitant yet open minded, I changed out of my robe and into the outfit with Alice's help, trying my best not to seem too scared when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The slit in the skirt came clear up to the bend of my hip.

"I knew you'd look super hot in this. Like a gypsy goddess."

Laughing, I rolled my eyes then went back to looking at my reflection in the mirror because holy shit if she wasn't lying.

"This isn't me. This is makeup and body oil and good taste. You're the one who worked the magic."

"To look this good there's gotta be a little bit of magic in you, too, babe. You're like a mythical creature. A unicorn."

"Which is it? Am I a gypsy or a unicorn?"

"Can't it be both?"

Downing the rest of my drink, I handed the glass back to Alice, not as self-assured as her. "I'm going to need another one of those before we go."

As if I were paying her, Alice made me another drink with double the alcohol, then we were out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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Today is Wed-nes-day, AHS night! Let's celebrate with a chap!

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4

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The sound of engines revving grew louder the closer we got to the line leading into the fairgrounds. The lights from the campground were blinding. The whole vibe only fed my anxiety.

Catcalls from the men and dirty looks from the women flanked Alice and me as we made our way through the grounds.

Every ounce of my being was telling me to turn tail and run. It wasn't too late. I could go home and catch up with whatever was on Netflix and put an actual shirt on.

But then, there he was. Colorfully contrasting tattoos against a black T-shirt, tattered slim-fit jeans, and leather boots.

I stopped in my tracks. "Oh shit, Alice. I don't think I can do this." I flattened my hand against my stomach. It was going crazy.

"You what?"

I shook my head, working my way backward toward the taco truck we had just passed. "Yeah, I can't do this." Alice followed as I dashed behind it.

"Okay, okay. Focus, Bella. Are you focusing?"

"I'm nauseous."

"Good enough." Alice grabbed my upper arms and made severe eye contact. "Remember what Mike said yesterday?"

I gave her a look. Why was she bringing Mike into this?

"He was talking about the new plays he was working on."

I always zoned out when Mike started talking about his new plays.

"Okay so, we're in the fourth quarter, right?"

My mouth dropped open, the utter confusion letting nothing escape.

"Just hear me out. So, fourth quarter. We're down three points. Or was it four?"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is we go for it. We don't punt. We don't try for a field goal. We go for it. We go for it or we go home."

"Okay then, let's go home."

Alice briefly shut her eyes in annoyance. "No, Bella. You're not following," she insisted. But I was trying. I really, really was.

"This is your Hail Mary. Your moment to go for it. There is no turning back. You're here. You're dressed. You look amazing."

"Thank you."

Alice took my hands in hers and shook my arms loose.

I let out a long, soothing breath.

It didn't work.

"Since when do you know what a Hail Mary is?" I asked in an attempt to distract myself.

It didn't work either.

Alice shrugged a shoulder. "Claire's been teaching me some things. But enough about football. The point is I know you want him. I know he wants you. And what can be better than that? Two people wanting each other at the same time. No strings. No commitment."

I looked away. Alice followed my line of sight through the taco truck window to where Masen was standing.

"No pain, no fights. Just nice, natural chemistry. Connection like that doesn't happen that often."

She had me there. I'd never experienced anything on this much of an instinctive level. Becoming a mom aside. I could feel the draw to him from all the way over here.

"I think this will be good for you. Let this guy get you out of your head for a little bit. If not for yourself then for this outfit. It'd be a shame if he never saw you in it."

We shared a smile and I minutely chillaxed. A thing Brady told me I needed to do often.

"Okay, _okay_. I'll do it. I'll go out there. Just do me a favor, would ya?"

"Anything."

"Get me a taco and frozen margarita first?" I hadn't eaten all day and was on the verge of passing out.

"Okay, but I'm not sure if taco meat is the best thing to eat before sticking your tongue down someone's throat."

All I had to do was give Alice a look and she was on it, stepping out from behind the food cart and getting in line.

…

"Do I have anything on my mouth?" I asked after I was done scarfing everything down. Alice took a good look with her phone light.

"No, you're good."

"What about my teeth? Anything in my teeth?"

"No, they're perfect. Nice and pearly white."

I nodded, running my palms over the front of my skirt. A nice, soothing warmth flowed through me. "Okay, I think I'm ready."

"Great. Let's go."

"No, wait." I reached out to grab Alice's arm and stop her. "Do you have any gum? My breath has to be rancid." I tested it in my hand and cringed. "Why did you let me go and eat a taco?"

Alice gave me an incredulous glare then yanked herself from my grip to search through her purse. She pulled out a bottle of liquid breath freshener. I doused my tongue with it and coughed. Shit was strong.

"We ready now?" she asked, tossing the bottle back in her purse.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders. "Ready."

My heart beat wildly, my skirt flowing freely in the wind, exposing my freshly tanned leg as Alice and I made our way toward the booth where Masen had been waiting for us in his casual black shirt and jeans.

He was with the same group of guys he'd been with the day before, resting his backside against the front of the booth where we met. He looked so relaxed, so comfortable with himself. It was as if he didn't have an ounce of anxiety in him while I was filled with enough for the both of us.

One of the guys noticed us approaching and tapped Masen on the stomach with the back of his hand.

Masen followed his friend's gaze and straightened the moment he spotted me, his whole body turning my direction.

"Wow, Bella. You look … Wow," he said once I was standing in front of him.

"Yeah?"

He rubbed his chin, taking me in. "Yeah."

I did the same with him. "You, too."

Making brief eye contact, Masen gave me a soft smile that reached his eyes, crinkling the skin at the sides. His gaze dropped back down to my exposed leg then raked back up my body as if he wasn't sure where to look or what to do with it, which was surprising.

A few low laughs resonated from the group. As if waking from a trance, Masen stepped closer, placing his hand at the small of my back when he turned to make introductions.

It was hard to pay attention to names and faces with Masen's hand on me, partially touching the sliver of exposed skin. The warmth from his palm seeped in through my clothing, heating the area beneath my belly button. When he slipped his thumb under the hem of my halter top that heat made its way further south, flooding out from between my thighs and making me squeeze them together.

The sensation nearly made my knees buckle. I hadn't had a welcomed touch like that in so long I'd forgotten what it was like to want someone. How nice it could be. Though, I had never felt anything quite this strong. No man's vicinity had ever made my head swim the way Masen's seemed to do.

"So, are you guys part of a club or something?" Alice asked. "I know Masen here works on planes and the like. Do you guys do the same? Do you all work together?"

The bald guy, Jasper, was the one to answer her. "I'm a part of a local club and Masen here is an honorary member. We grew up together in Chicago. We met up with the rest of these guys when we started driving in for this rodeo. That's been what, eighteen years? Yeah, since we were eighteen. Shit. Where'd the time go?" He huffed a laugh. "Am I right?"

"So right," Alice agreed. "I swear just yesterday Claire was a baby. I mean, she'll always be my baby. But, you know …"

"Claire's your daughter?" Jasper asked.

Alice nodded, beaming with pride. "She is and a handful. She just turned eight." Alice pulled out her phone to show Jasper some pictures. Pretty soon the two were gone in a world of their own, and it was pretty adorable to witness.

"How was your day?" Masen asked, his voice startlingly close. His breath brushed by my ear, lightly vibrating my eardrum.

"Oh, uh, it was good." I nodded. "Productive." Turning my head I came face to face with his smirk.

"Productive, huh? That's an interesting word."

Half of Masen's body was behind me, his hand still at my back. My first instinct was to lean in and snuggle him.

"Yeah, well I volunteer at the local clinic every so often. I put in a few hours today then headed over to the gym. Cleaned the house before getting ready to come out tonight." I shrugged. My life was so boring. He probably thought I was a total snore. "How about you? How was your day? Did you spend it here?"

Our faces remained agonizingly close. My focus flicked from his eyes to his mouth then around the circumference of his face before finding his eyes again.

He seemed to do the same only landing on my lips. Clearing his throat he looked away. "Yeah, the guys and I mostly sat around after we got set up. I don't see them much so it's nice to catch up." I felt him shrug behind me.

"I bet." The side of his neck caught my attention, specifically his carotid artery. It was large and beating rapidly, making me think maybe he did get nervous. And that meant I made him nervous.

Good.

"Are you all staying at the campsite together or do you have your own tent or something?"

His gaze snapped back to mine. A zing shot through my entire body when our eyes met.

His eyes sparkled under the security light. A gleam in there that told me he knew exactly what I was asking.

"We're in the same general area but I have my own tent."

A rogue strand of hair whipped across my face. Masen tucked it behind my shoulder, the pads of his fingers lightly brushing my skin before his arm fell back to his side.

"You hungry?" he asked.

I was. But not for food. My face warmed at the thought.

"I actually ate already but I don't mind if you get something. I could go for something to drink."

"All right." He turned his attention to his friends. "Hey, guys, we're gonna go see what they got to eat around here. We'll just meet you back at camp later. If that's okay with you," Masen added, his hand sliding across my back to curl around my side. A brand new wave of lust washed over me.

"Alice? You okay with us meeting up later?"

Alice waved me off. "Yeah, sure. Go. Have fun. But be safe," she added with a wink.

I shot her a glare, my thoughts going directly to the condom she had me stick in my bra alongside some money and my ID.

Masen grabbed my hand to lead me away from the group, threading our fingers together just before hitting the heavy crowd.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd held a hand that was bigger than my eight-year-old son's. It made me feel like the opposite of a mother. Very free and feminine. Young and reckless but undeniably safe from consequence because at thirty I was too old to make any more stupid mistakes. I'd learned from them all years ago. I knew who I was and what I wanted. And what I wanted was to experience wild, unbridled passion. But cautiously, of course. And only for one night. I wasn't looking for a relationship. Those led to conflict and disappointment and I was done with all that. All I wished for was peace within and around me. And the occasional good fucking. Nothing more.

Extracting me from my thoughts of fucking him, Masen pulled me closer, let go of my hand, and placed his on my hip while he ordered some food for himself and drinks for the both of us.

We walked and talked a little between bites of his tenderloin. Mostly about the craziness we were witnessing and how different our lives looked outside of these fairgrounds.

Once he was done eating his arm made its way around my shoulders. My hand came up to meet his. Our fingers tangled to lock his arm in place across the back of my neck in the most natural way.

Side by side we walked in perfect synch, our movements fluid as we slowly maneuvered the crowd.

Before long everyone around us disappeared into the background, their murmurs muted by his deep voice and contagious laughter. As the night went on I could feel myself getting more comfortable with him. Bolder. In the way I spoke, smiled, laughed, and touched him. We did an awful lot of touching.

The feeling of his body against me and beneath my hands was intoxicating. I could feel myself getting higher and higher off of it. As if his manly pheromones were slowly seeping into my skin over the course of the night.

The more we talked the more I focused on his lips. I wanted to kiss them. I wanted to climb up his body and cling to it as I kissed them. I wanted that more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. Besides to win the jackpot.

"Is this the first year you've had a booth here?" Masen asked once we stopped at one selling knockoff sunglasses.

We'd talked little about my son so far, which was okay by me. Masen had no kids himself but claimed to like them. He had a slew of nieces and nephews and seemed completely unbothered by the fact I had a kid.

"It's the third, actually," I said, sliding on an oil stained pair of fake Ray-Bans to model.

"So, wait." Masen removed the glasses from my face. "You mean to tell me you've been here three years in a row and I'm only just now meeting you?"

Shyly smiling, I shrugged and snatched the glasses to put them back where I got them.

"Nah. Doesn't seem plausible. I would have noticed you." he said.

"Don't be so sure."

"Oh, I'm sure." Brushing the hair from my shoulder, Masen stepped closer to run his thumb down the side of my neck. Heat rushed outward and up from my stomach as he toyed with the strap of my top.

My first instinct was to ruin the moment by arguing with him. Because no way would he have noticed me when I was sixty pounds heavier. Nobody did. Not ever.

The sound of a guitar filtering through the air stopped me from burdening him with my own personal self-image issues.

Grabbing his hand, I urged him to keep walking instead of talking about lost time.

* * *

Who else watches American Horror Story, no matter how bad it gets? What's your favorite season? Mines Murder House, season 1.


	5. Chapter 5

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

* * *

Last nights episode with that Friday the 13th moment tho

* * *

5

* * *

The music grew louder the closer we got to the bandstand at the center of the fairgrounds. Some local band I'd never heard of was playing a familiar ballad.

When we stopped to listen I began to sway. Keeping hold of my hand, Masen lifted his arm over my head and turned me around to face him. My head spun with my body, both of them buzzing as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close. Chest to chest. His head lowered so we were cheek to cheek.

Releasing Masen's hand, I wound both of my arms around his neck. He did the same to my waist, his breath blowing against my shoulder. It quickened my breathing, the light scent of his cologne giving me a fresh buzz. He smelled so goddamn good.

We continued to dance slowly even when the melody changed to something more upbeat.

Eyes welded shut, I lost myself, forgetting my problems by lightly rubbing my cheek against his prickly jaw. Giving in to the urge, I ran my fingers through the hair on his head, finding it much softer than I thought it would be.

A rumble of satisfaction vibrated from Masen's chest into mine and he closed the small distance between his lips and my neck, pressing his mouth against my skin.

Even though it was still warm out I shivered, holding him tighter while he slid his mouth up to my jaw and closed his lips over my earlobe.

My fingers dug into his shoulder and the back of his head, surprised by how good it felt when his teeth grazed the sensitive skin, scraping lightly before releasing it with a slight tug.

"You taste as good as you smell." Masen hummed against my ear before running the tip of his nose along my jawline. My body hummed back, goose bumps popping up all over my flesh.

Nudging my jaw, he placed a chaste kiss under it then at the corner of my mouth. My heart exploded. Fire bore through my gut, sending flames straight to my toes.

That fire fizzled into embers when a couple began bickering beside us. Apparently the woman flashed a passerby. Before long a full-fledged fight broke out between the two guys.

Punches were flung and plastic lawn chairs were thrown. Masen wrapped an arm around my shoulders, placing himself between the chaos and me.

"Yeah um, we should definitely get out of here."

With a nod, I agreed.

Masen made a move in the direction of the campgrounds, still in protection mode until we were in the clear, then he took my hand.

I checked out the ink on his arm as we walked farther away from the ruckus, not really able to make out any one design since it was too dark to really see.

The soothing smell of bonfires filled the air before we stepped foot onto the campgrounds. I took in a lungful trying to keep my eyes on Masen and off the indecency surrounding us. Men and women were sprawled out all over the place. Some drunk and passed out. Most butt naked and not caring.

Gripping Masen's arm with my free hand, I used him for balance to step over a few bare bodies and through the live sex show that was in no way sexy at all.

"Looks like everybody's still up front," Masen said.

I automatically started searching for Alice to no avail.

"You want a drink or something?"

"You got water?" I asked, swatting away a mosquito. "And bug spray."

"Water, yes. The bug spray I forget every year. But I gotta solution for that."

Masen unzipped his tent and crawled inside. A few seconds later he poked out his head. "It's either this or be eaten alive." He held the flap out of the way for me.

I hesitated before crawling in behind him, my mind going a million miles a minute. The beat of my heart was doing a pretty good job of keeping up. Everything smelled like him.

Kicking off my sandals, I bunched my skirt up around my thighs and settled just inside. I watched silently while Masen dug around in his cooler and pulled out a water. Drying it off with his shirt, he flashed his tan, toned stomach before handing me the bottle.

He pulled out a beer for himself then relaxed back on the pile of blankets on the far side of the tent.

After staring at each other for the next few moments, Masen made the first move, crawling across the tent to mimic my stance. Wordlessly, he reached past me to zip up the tent.

I felt like an ass for leaving it open, which totally defeated the purpose of being in the tent in the first place.

At least, I thought it did.

Gathering my hair, Masen laid it over one shoulder. He fingered the strap at the back of my neck, giving me time to protest before pulling the tie loose and allowing the front of the woven halter to fall to my waist.

I fought the urge to cover myself. I knew this was coming. It was what I wanted to happen. I could feel it deep in my stomach. A coil tightening and releasing that need between my legs. I could feel it dampening my panties.

His fingers traced the top of my strapless bra to the back where he undid the hook. Holding it in place, he checked on me with a glance to the eyes. When I didn't stop him, he slowly pulled the silky black fabric from my body.

His fingers slid along my sides and under the curves of my breasts before letting the bra drop.

I closed my eyes in disbelief that this was actually happening. That I was letting it happen. It had been so long since I'd been touched, let alone been naked in front of someone. His feather-light touches almost didn't seem real at first.

Hands still on my ribs, he didn't make any more moves. I opened my eyes to catch him staring at my chest like he was seeing a pair of tits for the first time.

Without warning, his thumbs swept over both my nipples. The sensation was staggering. I sucked in a breath, my chest bucking forward at the same time he lowered his mouth toward one of the hardened peaks.

Just before his mouth touched me, the zipper to the tent opened, sending me into a panic. I backed away from Masen, covering my breasts just as some drunk old guy popped his head inside the tent.

"The fuck, Waylon? This isn't your tent, man. Get the fuck out!" Masen's loud bark didn't do anything to thwart my embarrassment. But it did knock some sense into me. I hurried out of the tent on hands and knees while simultaneously trying to keep myself covered and ignoring Masen's fading pleas to come back.

Once I had my top tied securely in place, I dialed Alice, telling her to meet me at the front gate pronto. Screw her hankering for a funnel cake. I had to get the hell out of there. My nips were exposed for Christ's sake.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stomped out to the parking lot. Alice peppered me with question after question, funnel cake and a flat Coke in hand. I finally caved once we reached the car, dramatically collapsing across the hood.

"He touched my nipples," I mumbled, face down against the cool metal.

"What?" There was a mixture of elation and shock in Alice's voice.

"He almost put one in his mouth." I looked over at her, the car hood smooshing my cheek.

"Almost?"

I straightened with a huff. I really didn't want to talk about this right now or ever. "Yeah, some drunk guy came stumbling in, saw my tits, and I bolted." I just wanted to forget this night ever happened.

Alice gawked at me in admiration then burst out laughing. "Well, a ho's gotta start out somewhere. Let me be the first to welcome you to the club."

I rolled my eyes at her before climbing in the car. We rode in silence, an occasional giggle bubbling up from Alice's throat.

The night had been so crazy and out of character for me that before long, I was joining her.


	6. Chapter 6

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

* * *

6

* * *

The next morning I woke to the smell of bacon. Crawling out of Alice's bed, I stopped by the bathroom and put on the extra black strapless bra she had hanging over the shower curtain before heading downstairs to the kitchen where Claire and Brady were watching Alice cook breakfast.

Walking by, I ruffled Brady's wild hair and kissed his head. "Morning, baby."

He grunted. At eight, I already had a teenager on my hands.

"You need any help, Alice?" I asked more as a pleasantry.

Alice pointed behind her with the spatula. "You can grab the orange juice and some glasses if you want. Otherwise, I'm good." She went back to flipping bacon while I padded across the cold linoleum to the fridge.

"You guys have fun last night?" I asked the kids as I poured them each a glass of OJ.

"Did _you_?" Brady asked with a little bit of a bite. Gotta love that early prepubescent attitude.

"Yes. As a matter of fact we did, young man," Alice jumped in, saving my pride. "Grown-ups are allowed to have fun too, ya know? We work hard every day to take care of you kids and get you what you want and need. Us moms, we deserve a break every once in a while." Placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of each kid, Alice served Brady's with a side of eyebrow. "Now tell your mom you're sorry for the attitude."

Brady sighed, having the good sense to look somewhat abashed. "Sorry, Mom."

"And?"

Brady looked at Alice, his shame morphing into confusion. She mouthed whatever it was she wanted him to say.

"And I hope you had fun," he added before diving into his scrambled eggs.

I pulled him closer by his shirt to place a kiss on the side of his head.

"Thank you, baby. I did."

"I hope you had fun too, Mommy," Claire added.

Alice gave her a wink. "You know I did, princess."

Once we finally got Alice to sit down and eat something, we enjoyed a nice breakfast together, discussing what the kids got into the night before and any homework they had left to do.

By the time Alice dropped us at home, it was well after noon and a sour-looking Emmett was waiting on the front porch swing.

I almost had Alice keep driving. I didn't feel like fighting with him.

"You gonna be okay?" Alice asked.

I acted as if she were silly for asking. "Yeah, of course." I reached for my purse, realizing I didn't bring one with me, before climbing out of the car. "Thanks for the ride. See you tomorrow at practice." I shut the car door, silently willing Brady to hurry the hell up and collect his things so he could get out of the car already.

When Emmett stood and headed for the front steps, I took off for the porch to ward off the impending scene he was about to cause.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been sitting here for a fucking hour."

"Funny, I don't remember you asking if you could come over." I walked by him to unlock the door, lowering my voice. "And watch what you say around your son, please. He's already got your attitude. He doesn't need your mouth."

Emmett followed me inside, Brady tagging along behind him. Neither made to shut the door.

Holding in a sigh, I doubled back and shut the door myself.

Without acknowledging his dad Brady ran upstairs.

"Well, hello to you too, son," Emmett called up after him. He was greeted with the sound of Brady's door slamming shut.

"What crawled up his ass?" Emmett followed me into the kitchen.

After pulling the cleaning spray from under the sink, I doused the counter then grabbed a rag. "Probably the fact you didn't pick him up last weekend like you were supposed to," I reminded him, simultaneously scrubbing. It was how I dealt with my nerves these days instead of eating. Whenever Emmett was around I had to be busying my hands. If not I would kill him with them.

"I had a job. Couldn't say no. You know how it goes." His job as a construction worker was more of an excuse for missing his obligations than anything. I couldn't remember the last time he'd picked up Brady on time, if at all, or paid a cent of child support.

"You couldn't have called? They have this thing called FaceTime that the kids are using now. You can actually see each other while you talk."

Emmett ignored my question. "I know what FaceTime is."

An unnerving sensation settled in the back of my neck and I knew he was moving in closer.

_Don't touch me, Emmett. Don't do it. _

My arm froze when the pad of his finger touched the open space between my shoulder blades.

"Ya know, you're lookin' good these days. Maybe we could FaceTime each other sometime. Like after Brady goes to bed."

I didn't say anything. Didn't do anything while he traced my spine down to just above my tailbone. Hand splayed out, he cupped my right butt cheek over my skirt.

"This new? I like it."

God help me but my body reacted. Not to him particularly. Just the heat that his palm was permeating. It missed being touched. I missed it. Doing it myself wasn't the same.

My brain instantly conjured memories of Masen. It was his hand on me.

"It's been a while for me. What about you? You seeing anybody?"

I clenched my eyes shut at the invitation. I somehow doubted it had been all that long for him. But it definitely had been for me. The throbbing between my legs verified that.

"I miss you. I've missed us. Haven't you?"

His palm moved around to my lower stomach and he pulled me back against him.

"We could make another one," he said against my ear.

"Another what?" I craned my neck to look at him, nearly grazing his lips, and pulled back.

"Another baby." His dimples deepened with his smile.

He wasn't serious.

"Maybe the second one won't hate me as much."

Giving him an incredulous look, I snorted, turning back to scrub the counter and accidentally_-_on-purpose jabbing him in the ribs with my elbow.

He oofed out a breath then stilled my arm, pressing himself fully against me. Emmett McCarty didn't give up that easily. Unless it came to real responsibility.

"Hey, look at me." His hand came up to grab my chin. When I resisted he spun me around to face him, pinning me to the counter with his hips and obvious hard-on. "I'm serious, Bella."

"Oh, I know you are."

"What's the issue? We make beautiful babies."

Rolling my eyes, I tried to turn away and face the counter again.

Emmett's relentless palms pawed at my bare shoulders as he rested his head against the side of mine. "Let's do it, B. Let's make another baby." Going for my skirt, he started bunching it up around my hips. "I'll move in. We'll give it another shot. We can be a family. Don't you want that? Don't you want our son to have a father?"

Funny, I thought he did.

Was this why he was flaking on his payments and refused to pick Brady up on his scheduled days? Was he playing me? Working on my guilt so I'd let him move in here? And to what? Spend time with his son in exchange for letting him mooch off me?

"Let's try for a girl this time."

Hearing enough, I shrugged him off and pushed him away.

"What? You don't want another kid?"

"With you? No! You don't even help me with the one we've got." I gestured to the ceiling. Brady's room was just above us. He could probably hear everything we were saying.

Emmett had the audacity to look flabbergasted, like I'd sprung these feelings on him out of nowhere. Typical.

"Why are you here anyway? It's not your weekend. That was last week and you blew it."

"I told you, I had to work. But, it's fine. Brady knows I'll make it up to him."

"Will you?"

"Yes."

Right.

"You should know I had it documented by the lawyer that you missed your visit this time. I wasn't bluffing when I said I was going to start reporting it."

Emmett shook his head. "You didn't have to do that."

"No, but I did anyway." I stepped closer, lowering my voice. "And if you keep showing up whenever you want and putting your hands on me uninvited, I'm going to file a restraining order and start pushing for child support, too."

I didn't necessarily need the money but it would be nice to have. Besides, I was sick of letting this man-child get away with all his bullshit.

Fumes practically blew out from Emmett's flared nostrils. His hands turned to fists ready to punch something. I only pushed because I knew he wouldn't punch me. At least, he never had.

"You need to get it together, Emmett. If not for yourself then for your son. He depends on you. He needs you. He _wants_ to see you."

Why, I didn't know.

"Obviously not." Here came the pity party.

"And why do you say that?"

"Because he runs whenever he sees me coming. Besides, he's got you. You're all he needs, aren't you? Miss Independent Mama. Hell, he didn't even look at me before heading upstairs and barricading himself in his room."

I wasn't about to soothe his bruised ego.

"Here." Digging in his pocket he pulled out a wadded up twenty and held it out for me to take. "It's all I've got on me right now. I'll get you the rest later."

"I'm not going to take your last twenty, Emmett. Just pick up your kid when you're supposed to. And if you can't, at least call. But I strongly suggest you find a way to be here on your scheduled days from now on."

He shoved the money back in his pocket. "Fair enough. Guess I better get going then. Since I'm so unwelcome and shit."

_Don't roll your eyes. Don't react. It's what he wants. You're bigger than that. _

"Tell B-man I'll catch him next weekend when he resurfaces, would ya?"

"Yeah, sure."

With a glare and nod of thanks, Emmett headed out and I could finally breathe.

After a few minutes I detected the sound of Brady's door opening. His heavy steps on the stairs confirmed it. So he _was_ avoiding his father.

"Dad gone?" he asked, little to no emotion on his face or in his voice.

"Yeah. He said to let you know he was sorry about last weekend. He had a job and couldn't make it. But he'll be here next weekend. And he loves and misses you." So, I embellished on Emmett's message a little.

"Yeah, sure." Brady saw right through me. Probably heard the whole conversation. The words "inside voice" had never been a part of his father's colorful vocabulary.

"Can I ride my bike down to Newton's? He invited me over to play some games."

I all but opened my mouth and Brady cut me off.

"All my homework's done. I just had that sheet of math problems to do and I finished them while you were talking to Dad."

Eyes slit, I regarded him for a few seconds. "Go grab your homework and bring it down here so I can look over it and you can go." I barely got the words out before Brady shot back up the stairs. Seconds later the mess in his book bag was strewn across the kitchen table and he was running out the back door.

"Straight to Mike's, that's it. And I want you back here by five for dinner. You hear me?"

"Yep. Straight to Coach's. Back by dinner. Love you!"

I tried not to think about all the horrifying things that could potentially happen to my child while he was out in the world without me. Newton's house was only at the end of the block so I could see it from the front window. I went to stand and watch Brady ride down the street then dispose of his bike on the front lawn before barging inside like he owned the place.

I hung my head in shame at my kid's nonexistent manners before heading upstairs to strip out of my rumpled clothes and wash the stink off in the shower. After thoroughly scrubbing the necessities, I stood under the hot spray, letting it burn away the remnants of Emmett's touch. To think that I'd ever enjoyed it. I shivered, in part from Emmett's antics but mostly because the water had run cold.

Shutting it off, I stepped out and grabbed a towel, clasping it tightly to my chest when I heard a knock on the front door.

I groaned. "What now?"

Rushing to my bedroom, I pulled on a pair of leggings and a lounge shirt. With my skin still moist from the shower the leggings gave me some trouble. Before I could make it downstairs the sharp start of a motorcycle ripped through the neighborhood.

My stomach dropped and I nearly fell down the stairs, opening the door just in time to catch the tail end of a matte black bike and its owner turning the corner at the end of the street.

I was a little disappointed but mostly relieved to have missed them since I hadn't checked the mirror and probably looked like a drowned rat.

Noticing Mike had stepped out onto his porch too, I waved then shrugged, turning to go back in when I spotted a white envelope hanging out of my mailbox.

My name was scrawled on the front. On the back I found Masen's name and his phone number. All that was inside was my license and the few loose bills I'd left behind.

Guess he was holding Alice's bra and that condom for ransom.

* * *

Have y'all heard about this First Responders contest? Which first responder is your favorite?


	7. Chapter 7

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

* * *

7

* * *

"So, there was no note? Just a name and number?" Angela asked, looking away from me and over at Alice who was sitting on the bleachers on the other side of her.

The kids' after-school practice was nearly over. We'd almost made it all the way through without discussing my love life, but then Alice had to go and open her big mouth.

"What are you asking me for?" Alice asked.

Angela shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just trying to understand."

"It's not like it matters anyway. It's not like I'm going to call."

"What, why?" Alice demanded to know.

"Because it's crazy! This was supposed to be a one-time thing and it didn't even happen. Then I had to go and leave my license behind and now I'm probably going to have to move."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." Alice waved off my concern.

"I mean it. If Emmett catches wind of this I'll never hear the end of it."

"Fuck Emmett. You have the upper hand. You always have. You've got nothing to worry about except for your vagina closing up."

"Oh, Alice, please." Angela looked to the heavens then closed her eyes, silently asking God to forgive the vulgarity spewing forth from her friend's mouth.

"But don't you see? That's exactly what I'm worried about."

"Your vagina? Me, too."

"No, Alice. Forget about my vagina for a minute, would you?"

"I wish I could."

"Can we please stop talking about _genitalia_ in general?" Angela whispered, as if it were a mortal sin to say the word out loud.

"What I'm worried about is giving Emmett any amount of leverage. What if this guy is bad news? What if he causes too much of a distraction? What if my selfish actions negatively impact Brady and then there's grounds for Emmett to claim I'm an unfit parent?"

"As long as you live you could never be considered unfit."

Angela nodded in agreement with Alice. "It's true. You've always been a wonderful mother. And friend. So much so, I'd be willing to write a character reference to the court. You're a good woman, Bella. And you deserve the love of a good man. You owe it to yourself to find out if this Maxwell—"

"Masen," Alice and I corrected her in unison.

"Right. This Masen just might be a good guy. A lot of those bikers look rough around the edges but are as sweet as pie. They do an awful lot for charity. And you never know, he could be the one. Don't you want to find out?"

"I don't know." My voice lowered as I turned my attention back to where Brady was running plays on the field.

"Well, even though I don't condone how it all started, I think maybe you should pursue it. You're just unsure because you haven't experienced the real love of a good man yet. But, honey, it's out there. And it's wonderful. You just have to be open to it." Angela patted my hand.

I didn't feel reassured, fearing I may be too old and bitter to be open to anything new and good. Wasn't sure how much I had to give after years of being both physically and emotionally drained by the opposite sex. AKA Emmett McCarty.

"And if he's not the one, he can at least bang some fun and excitement back into your life." Leave it to Alice to supply perspective.

Angela rolled her eyes, shaking her head in disapproval, but not necessarily disagreeing.

Once the end of practice huddle broke, we happily parted ways to herd our kids to our cars. I gave in to Brady's request for McDonald's pretty easily given how tired I'd been lately. His smile made me feel like Mom of the Year for a minute.

After we ingested a year's worth of sodium and Brady had a shower, I helped him with his homework then it was off to bed for both of us.

No matter how long I lay there and tried, I couldn't get my brain to turn off. Come two in the morning I was freaking out knowing I had to be at work at seven. And the next day and the next.

I hated when I worked a cluster of twelve-hour shifts in a row. Not only did it make me hella tired, it left me feeling absent as a mother.

Thank God Mike was kind and lived close enough to take Brady to school on those days. He also picked him up and kept him at his place until I got home. Maybe if he would let me pay him or I finally gave in and went on a date with the guy I'd feel a little less guilty.

Oh, who was I kidding? Harboring guilt was the one thing I was exceptionally great at.

All these thoughts were making me feel guilty for not being attracted to Mike after all he'd done for my son and me. He was always helping me out and expecting nothing in return. His demeanor was always so generous and warm, albeit sometimes creepy. He treated Brady like he was his own son. But most importantly, Brady genuinely liked him. Probably liked being over there more than he did here. I couldn't blame him. I had been in Mike's house. It was filled to the brim with junk food and gaming systems.

The next thing I knew I'd thought myself to sleep and was waking up to the blare of my alarm clock. I shot straight up in bed, turned it off along with my feelings, then headed into the bathroom to start getting ready for the day.

In all honesty, the hardest part of our morning routine was getting Brady moving. He had always been a good sleeper. When he was a baby it was a blessing. These days, it was a hindrance.

An hour later I'd dropped Brady at Mike's and was heading into work at the hospital, praying for a quick, easy day.

No dice.

Bells and whistles greeted me when I walked onto the unit. Half the patients were considered high acuity, the other half simply needy, and we were down a nurse.

Meds were missing from damn near every one of my patients' bins. Not only did I have to wait for them to be restocked, the clock moved at a dead snail's pace. I was in desperate need of coffee, ready to claw my face off when I'd done a whole day's work, then realized it was only nine in the morning. Ten more hours to go.

The rest of the day was just as shitty. Literally and figuratively. Wiping all those asses had wiped me out by the time I clocked out. I was seriously considering calling off the next couple of days. I was so sick of my job. I was so sick of being responsible. I was so sick of working so much and missing out on so much, especially time with my kid.

I was losing him. I could feel it in my heart. I could see it in his demeanor and hear it in his tone. His attitude was growing worse and worse every single day.

The fact I couldn't pass as mother and father was another thing that ate away at me. There was nothing I could do about Emmett's behavior. There was nothing I could say to make him see and understand how his actions—or lack thereof—were affecting his kid. Brady needed a full-time father. Not a friend he sometimes hung out with on the weekends. He had plenty of those.

Why couldn't Emmett just grow up? Why couldn't he act like the man he should want his kid to grow up to be? Why couldn't he at least pretend to give a shit and not fuck us all up mentally and emotionally?

Anger flared in my chest, the flames fanned by my runaway train of thought. I squeezed the steering wheel, imagining it was my ex's neck. I wanted to kill him and possibly could have in that moment. I was so mad.

Loosening my grip on the wheel, I blew out a cleansing breath. In the nose, out the mouth. Counted to ten, to twenty. Tried it backward. Usually that helped.

It didn't.

I still felt murderous until I heard the whoop of a siren. Then I just felt sick. I didn't have to glance in my rearview mirror to see the flashing red and blue lights behind me.

Slowing to a roll, I pulled over to the shoulder and cut the engine, relaxing back against the headrest.

This was all I needed right now.

The officer took his sweet time looking up my plates and checking to make sure my tags were up to date.

As long as they were making me wait, they had just better take one look at my scrubs and send me on my way with nothing more than a warning.

This was bullshit.

My eyes had almost closed completely when there was a knock on my door, startling them open.

Rolling down the window, I worked up the best apologetic smile I could muster.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" the older officer asked.

I found myself wanting to make a joke about the movie _Minority Report_ and ask if he'd predicted I was planning to kill my idiotic ex. Instead, I chuckled to myself, which didn't help the situation.

"Is something funny?"

I shook my head. "No, officer." Quite the opposite actually. "I'm just sleep-deprived is all." Was I allowed to say that to a cop? Was it illegal to drive overworked and tired? "That and my ex is a useless lump. Not to mention I'm catastrophically failing as a mother," I said, more to myself than anyone.

I huffed a humorous laugh as tears welled up in my eyes. I had no idea where that came from but there was more on the way.

"Oh, and I almost slept with a man I barely know the other night," I confessed unnecessarily.

Wow. I was on a roll. I was definitely calling off tomorrow.

"That's not what I do, ya know? That's not who I am. I'm the responsible one. It's my responsibility to be responsible, ya know?"

"Ma'am ..." The cop bent at the waist to take a better look at me. "Have you been drinking?"

I scoffed. "I wish. I just got off work."

"And where is that?"

"The hospital."

"You a nurse?"

I nodded, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Work twelve-hour shifts?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I didn't get much sleep last night."

He gave me a tight smile that said _I hear_ _that. _"My wife was a nurse. Rough hours. It takes a special kind of person to do that kind of work."

I didn't feel very special.

"I know I don't know you, but if I had to take a gander, I'd say you're a fine mother and just as fine a person, uh … no matter the circumstances." Like acting like a ho? "The fact you're so worried about it is a sign of that. Speaking of signs, can you tell me what the speed limit is on this road?"

"Fifty-five."

"Mmhm. And do you know just how fast you were going when I pulled you over?"

I remained silent.

"Seventy miles per hour."

No way. Not possible. I refused to believe it.

"I tell you what, you stop being so hard on yourself and that gas pedal and I'll let you off with a warning. How does that sound?"

"Very fair. Thank you, sir."

He nodded. "Just see that it doesn't happen again." Tipping his hat, he went on his way.

A little shaky from the depleting adrenaline, I sat there a few moments before pulling back out onto the road.

Somehow, I was still on time picking up Brady from Mike's. As per usual Mike made sure he'd had dinner, finished all his homework, and was ready to go once I got there. I could have kissed him. But I didn't since that would be sending mixed signals. And like I had previously decided, I definitely wasn't attracted to Mike. But how much easier my life would be if I were.

I ended up not calling off. By the end of my third day, Brady and my feet were dragging on the way up to the house. I grabbed the mail on the way in, heading for the kitchen while Brady struggled to make it up the stairs and get ready for bed.

As I was sorting through the bills, a loose piece of paper slipped from between the envelopes and fluttered to the floor.

Picking it up, the first thing I noticed was Masen's handwriting. The second, an address. And the third, a date and time to meet.


	8. Chapter 8

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

* * *

8

* * *

"And three. And two. And one. Okay, jog it out in place." Paul must have sensed something was wrong because he was taking it easy on me, only demanding two sets of squat kicks with no surprise extras at the end. He didn't even make me hold the last squat.

"You're taking it easy on me," I said, extremely short of breath. I'd missed our last two sessions. "Why? You should be kicking my ass for standing you up."

Paul shrugged, arms clasped behind his back. It made his pecs stand out more than they already did. "You seem distracted and I don't need you hurting yourself."

Humming, I squirted some water into my mouth.

Paul watched.

"Something you want to talk about?" he asked before I swallowed. I nearly spit the water out on him.

"With you?"

He seemed surprised by my surprise. "Yeah with me. Why not? I've got sisters. I've heard it all. And give pretty good advice."

"You don't say."

"They don't necessarily see it that way," he added, which started me laughing. "But I do."

"I never knew you had sisters. How many?"

"Four."

"Are you the oldest?"

"Somewhere in the middle."

"What was that like, growing up with all those girls in the house?"

"Crowded. Educational. Like now, for example. You're diverting." He waited for me to argue but I couldn't. "Is it because I asked you out the last time you were here?"

Instead of answering I looked around to see if anyone was listening in on the conversation I couldn't believe was happening.

"If it is, it's no big deal. I can handle rejection, even when it comes from an extremely cool, beautiful woman."

I mean, I knew I was extremely cool, but beautiful? I highly doubted it. Especially right now since I was flushed, and not because of the workout.

"You're an admirable woman, Bella. How you take care of your kid, work full-time and volunteer at the clinic, plus come here. It just adds to—" He gestured to my whole being. "And it's not just me who thinks so. Most of the guys here would be honored to take you out. Even if the talk is not so honorable." He smirked.

I had to admit this was getting to be a bit of information overload.

"But hey, that's no pressure. I'm good with continuing the way we are, trainer and trainee. I'll even keep the wolves at bay. Done a good job of that so far. And I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. It wasn't my intention. But how else are we supposed to know what could be unless we try, right?"

That made a lot of sense. "Right."

I left the gym more mentally exhausted than anything.

Lying in bed, I stared at the phone number I'd saved in my cell but had yet to use, Paul's words fresh in my mind. _How else are we supposed to know what could be unless we try, right?_

But what was I going to say if I did?

_Hey, this is Bella. You know, the girl you were about to screw until your drunk friend busted into the tent? Thanks for bringing my license and cash back. I seem to be missing a bra and condom, though. Any chance you've seen them? _

I didn't think so. And no way could I be as forthcoming as Paul had been with me. It was almost like a business transaction. I'm hot, you're hot. Let's do this and see where it goes. Or not.

I mean, what the fuck?

Plus, once I used Masen's number then he would have mine. And I didn't know if I wanted him to have my number.

I didn't know if I even wanted to see him again.

I mean, I wanted to see him again. I just didn't know if I should.

Boyfriends were off limits: a self-anointed rule. I barely had enough time to spend with my kid. I wasn't about to dip into what time I did have for him and give it to someone else. Even if Brady didn't seem to want to spend any of his time with me. I was there if he wanted to.

Shutting my phone off, I rolled over to plug it in and placed it on the bedside table. I stared at it, thinking about what sex with Paul would be like. I imagined there would be a lot of direction, muscle straining for show, possibly some pointing at himself in the mirror. But then I was thinking about Masen and how he'd looked at me like he'd never seen anything more beautiful before.

Reaching into my nightstand, I pulled out my vibrator. With Masen on my mind it didn't take long for me to come twice. Next thing I knew I was waking up with the sun, vibrator still in hand. I quickly tossed it back in the drawer then flipped onto my back.

"Mom! Are you gonna sleep all day?"

I had been thinking about it.

It was so warm and cozy under the blankets. I never wanted to get out. But I had a life to lead and a growing boy to feed. Maybe if Emmett actually showed up this weekend I could take some time just for me and lie in bed all day.

A girl could dream.

Using my knees as much-needed leverage, I stood. They cracked, aching all the way down the stairs. After popping a handful of Motrin I got started on breakfast.

"Newt invited me over for breakfast. Is it okay if I go?"

I gave him a look. "You couldn't have just yelled that instead of sleep shaming me? I could still be in bed."

He took my response as permission. "Thanks. Just send Dad over when he gets here. I mean, _if_ he gets here."

"He will."

Ignoring my empty promise Brady flew out the back door, stopping part way. "Oh yeah, coach said to ask if you wanted to come, too. Do you?"

God, no.

"Uh, I think I'll just stay here. It'll take forever for me to get ready anyway." It was a decent enough excuse. "Tell Mike I said thanks though."

Brady nodded, attempting to run again.

"Hey, you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"Oh, I don't know. You love me and will miss me? Maybe a hug and a kiss since I won't see you again until Monday evening."

Brady rolled his eyes and stomped over to throw his arms around my waist. "Love you. Miss you. Is that good enough? Can I go now?"

I held in my sigh and kissed the top of his head before letting him go.

"Yeah, you can go now."

He shot out the door before I even finished my sentence, letting the screen door slam behind him. My eyes automatically snapped shut from the offensive sound. It was entirely too early for that type of noise.

Remembering to be a good mother, I ran to the front window and made sure Brady made it safely inside Mike's before making myself some instant coffee with extra creamer because I needed it today.

Once the caffeine hit and I was feeling somewhat human, I started cleaning up the house. It had been neglected for three days. If I did it today I could relax while Brady was away with his dad. Or not. Who knew if Emmett would even show. It was a toss-up at this point.

Instead of tidying Brady's room I just shut the door then hopped in the shower to get cleaned up myself.

For the second time in two weeks someone was knocking on the front door at the exact moment I stepped out of the shower.

I cursed them, wrapping the towel tightly around me, then rushed down the stairs just in case it was Emmett. He didn't need any more excuses to not see his kid.

Yanking open the door, I was relieved to see it was in fact the father of my child. If anyone was going to see me in a towel it might as well have been him. Better than the delivery man.

"Jesus, B. You tryna kill me?" Emmett muttered under his breath as he rubbed at his chin. I ignored his theatrics.

"Brady's over at Mike's. You can pick him up there. His bag's already packed and by the door." I pointed to it but Emmett's eyes stayed focused on my towel.

"You're not gonna make this easy on me, are you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I left the door open for him and went back upstairs to get dressed in some leggings and a comfy, oversized shirt that I could tie up at the waist.

When I came back down he was waiting on the couch.

Great.

"You heard me say Brady's at Mike's, right?" I asked just to make sure, even though I knew he had.

"Yeah, but if I go over there I'm gonna punch that douche in the face. Is that what you want? Our kid to see his old man punch someone?"

Oh my God. Always the drama with this guy.

"Why would you punch Mike?" I tried a civilized approach to keep him from escalating and never leaving.

"Because he's an asshole and he's trying to get into your pants. Your very tight pants that aren't much better than the towel, by the way." Emmett's eyes were glued to my legs.

"So what if he is? It's not like I'm trying to get into his. If I was, I would have already. Besides, we're not together." I gestured between the two of us. "You don't own me. You have no say in who I spend my time or sleep with just like I had no say when you were getting into every other pair of pants out there. Now please, get out of my house and go get your son. He misses you. I don't."

"So, you're sleeping with people now? Is that what you're saying?"

Talking to Emmett was worse than talking to a brick wall. At least the brick wall didn't talk back.

"What I'm saying is it's none of your business if I am or not, Emmett. Now for the second time, get out and go get your son _without_ punching anyone. If I have to tell you a third time I'm calling the cops."

Emmett crossed his arms over his wide chest, wiggling his ass further into the couch cushion. "On what grounds?"

What was he, a lawyer now?

"Harassment."

Emmett put on his grump face that was nearly identical to his son's. Only Brady's was cuter. I didn't give in to either. Anymore.

"Fine." Emmett stood and grabbed up Brady's things, thank God. "I'm going but I have to bring him back Sunday night. I have a job Monday and can't take him to school."

I refrained from rolling my eyes. "That's fine. What time?"

"Five-ish?"

"Okay. See you then." I opened the door for him, turning my face when he came in for the lips so he'd get the cheek instead. He smacked my ass a little too roughly, palming the cheek.

"Don't forget what I told you, B. I can be good for you. I can be good for the both of you. I didn't know what I wanted before but I know now."

Where had I heard that before? Oh yeah, his own lying ass.

"I want you." His fingers slid down my butt, creeping closer to the space between my legs. "I want to make this work. We can do it. All you have to do is forgive, forget, and give me another chance."

He pulled his hand away and stepped over the threshold of the door. I clipped his heel on his way out.

If there was one thing I couldn't stand it was manipulative bullshit. Emmett was a master at it.

Standing in the center of the living room I let out a low roar. It wasn't as loud or as satisfying as a scream but it would have to do. The last thing I needed was one of the neighbors calling the cops like the last time Emmett and I'd had a "domestic dispute." I was still trying to live down the fact that we were that couple. The ones who were always disturbing the neighbors with our antics. He made us that couple.

Anger somewhat managed, I went to the window to make sure Emmett kept his word and retrieved his kid leaving no blood or broken bones behind. I stood there until his car disappeared around the block then let out a relieved breath.

Why did he have to make everything so difficult?

Why couldn't anything just be easy for once?

After repeatedly making sure the door was locked, I skulked upstairs to rummage around in my dresser drawer where I kept all my unmentionables. Lying on top of the mess was the last note Masen left with a date and time to meet him.

The date was today.

The time was a few hours from now.

Looked like I had a decision to make.


	9. Chapter 9

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

9

_Did you pack any swim trunks? -Emmett_

_No. He should have a pair at your place. -Bella_

_I can't find any. -Emmett _

_Have you actually looked? -Bella_

I had a love-hate relationship with Emmett's scheduled weekends.

If he didn't show up I was pissed for a multitude of reasons. The major one being he disappointed his son. Again. Second, it meant I had no time for myself. As usual.

If he did show up I was happy to have the time for myself, even if that meant him texting the hell out of my phone.

_You sure you don't wanna come over and join us for a late night swim? It could be fun. ;) -Emmett_

Ugh.

The upside was that he wasn't here and I could choose to ignore him if I wanted to. What I couldn't ignore was how much I missed Brady. It was twice a month but I still missed my kid when he was gone. I even missed the little things that usually drove me crazy.

Like when he was a baby it was the colic. After he started crawling it was getting into anything and everything he wasn't supposed to. As a toddler he graduated to drawing on walls, streaming toilet paper all over the bathroom floor, and the potty training. Lord, the potty training. It took all I had not to lose my mind.

Yet God forbid Emmett had to deal with one overnight accident and I was likely to never hear the end of it.

I rolled my eyes so hard my head fell against the back of the couch. Why I let him continue to get under my skin was beyond me. I should have gotten used to it by now. I should have been numb to the annoyance and grief he gleefully caused me. My anger only fed him and made him stronger while hurting me. But I still blamed him for it.

I constantly had to remind myself what my mom had always told me.

We were a family that didn't believe in the H-word. Even if we thought it, we didn't use it. Period.

I tried to instill in Brady what my mom had in me. It was one of the worst possible words he could possibly use and not to do so. Ever. But whenever I thought about his father that was the first word that popped into my head.

Hate.

Sometimes. Most of the time I really hated Emmett. I hated to admit it but I did. I wholeheartedly hated the father of my child. And I hated that I hated him.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. I hated that it was.

Just hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. It would consume me if I let it. It would be so easy.

I sat there fuming for a few minutes, contemplating taking one of my nerve pills I'd been prescribed for when I couldn't settle myself down. But I wasn't there yet.

Usually I'd do a workout but I'd already showered. Not to mention the water bill had been sky high all summer from Brady and his friends playing with the hose. AKA forgetting about it and letting it run all day.

What the hell was I supposed to do the next few hours to not go crazy?

None of my usual TV shows were working to distract me. I wasn't in the mood to listen. My head was too loud. I couldn't stop thinking long enough to pay attention to anything. Which pissed me off even more.

It wasn't often that I took advantage of my freedom except for my shows. Probably felt too guilty to truly enjoy much of anything while my kid had to endure God knew what while with his dad. But it was nice to have an escape. When it worked.

I barely went out anymore. Didn't have the desire or the energy. Meeting new people sounded exhausting. I'd been burned by a man for too long, too many times. I had no real desire to date. However, I missed being touched. And kissing. God, I missed kissing.

Turning the TV off, I walked into the kitchen with no real motive other than to check all the cabinets and fridge. I wasn't even hungry. I just needed something to do. It was a dangerous activity to partake in. I didn't need to eat right now. Food wasn't the answer.

Backing out of the kitchen, I went back to the couch, grabbed my phone, and sent out a text.

_S.O.S_

The next thing I knew, I was opening the door for Alice's smiley face and astute fashion sense.

"Does someone need another mommy makeover?" she asked, giggling as she stepped by me into the house and jogged up the stairs to my bedroom.

I followed behind but slower, still not certain I was going to go through with this. My stomach was in knots just thinking about it.

"I brought a few options." Alice lined up the outfits side by side on my bed. "I'm so excited. I can't believe you're going through with this."

Tell me about it. I'd probably end up puking on the guy.

"Not those." I pointed.

"No leather pants. Got it. Not to worry, there's plenty more to choose from." Alice presented the rest with a wave of her arm. "Personally, I like this deep purple cocktail dress. It dips down just deep enough for a tasteful little tease and look, easy access." She demonstrated by grabbing the bottom of the dress and lifting it up.

"Classy."

It took me about a nanosecond to look over the outfit choices before deciding on the distressed skinny jeans and black tank. "And I'll wear my black sandals with it."

"The _flat, _black, strappy ones?"

"Yeah."

Alice's smile came off as more of a grimace. "Great choice." She all but bit her tongue off to not tell me how she really felt about my limited shoe collection. We'd already been down that road. She was well aware I wasn't opposed to leaving her on it.

While I curled the tips of my hair I had Alice hide the dark circles under my eyes and transform me from decaying zombie into golden goddess with the baby oil and bronzer.

If I decided not to go and stay in I could just admire myself in the mirror for the rest of the night. After all, it wasn't that often my reflection could be considered a friend.

"I thought this guy said he lived a ways up north but this address is local. Do you know what it is? Have you been by there?" Alice asked before I had the chance to ask her the same.

"No, I was hoping you knew. Maybe a restaurant or bar?" I wasn't too worried about my outfit choice if it were one of those things. There weren't any fancy places around here one would need to dress up for.

"Maybe he bought a place with all that aircraft moola just to be closer to you."

"That would be creepy."

"I looked it up and did you know an aircraft mechanic's average base salary is just over eighty-five grand a year? Max around a hundred and six. Our friend looked fairly seasoned. Plus he works on the club's bikes. My guess is he's banking somewhere in the upper half, if not more."

"Alice." I looked at her in disapproval.

She didn't notice for daydreaming about dollar signs. "I bet he got those sunglasses from Sunglass Hut." She nodded absently, staring at nothing in particular. "Probably paid full price."

I stared at the same nothing with her for a moment, trying to work up the energy to get up and moving. If I was doing this I needed to leave soon.

"Okay." I groaned as I stood. "Come on. Time to go."

I walked out with Alice and gave her a hug before we both got into our cars and took off in opposite directions.

The closer I got to my destination the more hesitant I became. Not only was I meeting a man I hardly knew, I was meeting him on the lower east end, the more impoverished and rough side of town.

The only reason I hadn't called it a night and headed home was because the sun was still out and I didn't trust myself not to order enough pizza to feed my whole neighborhood then eat it all myself.

By trade, I was a stress eater, depressed eater. I treated myself with food whether it was a good day, a bad day, or a Wednesday.

But not today.

All thoughts of food were pushed aside once I drove under the main overpass that divided the two sides of town.

Something in the air shifted when I turned down that dark side road, my destination just ahead on the left.

The closer I got, the more congested the road became. I was flanked by parked motorcycles until it dead-ended into a field that a handful of cars had turned into their parking lot.

I pulled in beside one of them and let the car idle, the air conditioning on full blast to keep me from sweating while I stared at the sign on the building across the street.

_Lone Wolves Motorcycle Club._

* * *

Promise I'll post the next chap before Thanksgiving. And yes, Edward is in it.


	10. Chapter 10

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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10

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I have to apologize, you guys. I started writing this for fun then it kinda took a therapeutic route, I started rattling and-i-oop! Didn't realize how many chaps I had written that didn't include any Edward interaction :x Anyway … Here you go!

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

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It wasn't so much a building as it was a house. Three stories high and historic by the looks of it. The wood plank siding had been painted black. The wrap around porch was also black, sat close to the ground, and had no railing.

There were a ton of people standing around outside mingling while drinking their beers. I could have really used one right about now.

A knock on my driver's side window nearly had me jumping through the sunroof. I grabbed my chest, looking over to find Jasper bent sideways at the waist smirking at me.

Gathering myself, I lowered the window.

"Sorry if I scared ya there. I was just out here takin' a leak."

TMI, but okay.

"Didn't recognize the car." He rested his forearm on the frame of the open window. "You here to see Mase?"

It seemed that way. Looking back at the house/biker club, I nodded.

"He's inside. Come on, I'll escort you. These wolves spot a beautiful woman, they're on her like flies on shit."

And to think Alice had the hots for this guy.

Jasper was gentlemanly enough to open my door for me.

"After you." He gestured and I started toward the house, ignoring the whistles and catcalls that followed me.

My phone pinged just before we headed into the house with a message from Emmett, like he knew.

_What are you up to tonight? -Emmett _

I was instantly annoyed. Why couldn't he just leave me alone and pay attention to his kid?

"He's back there in that corner. Can't see him for the crowd. Can I get you a drink before we head that way?" Jasper asked.

I put my phone on silent and threw it in my purse. "A drink would be great."

"What are we having?"

"A bottle of whatever's cold will be fine." I also wanted a shot of something but it was probably best not to.

Jasper gave a curt nod and turned to the bar beside us while I took a look around.

The inside of the house looked nothing like a house. It was open like an actual bar with booths and tables and a small stage in the back.

If it weren't for being so out of sorts I may had been more impressed by the layout and workmanship that went into the place.

"Here ya go. This buds for you," Jasper said, imitating those dumb commercials.

I cracked a smile for his sake and tapped his bottle with mine. I was probably coming off as a real bitch. If I had been thinking I would have brought Alice to run interference. She was good at the talking thing.

"Mase is gonna be so psyched you came. Don't tell 'im I said but he's really into you. I've never seen him this way. Always been when he hooked up at the rodeo it stayed at the rodeo, ya know? You must be something special." Jasper winked.

I stared at him blankly. "We didn't hook up at the rodeo. Did he tell you we hooked up?"

"Oh, shit. No. I just assumed. Shit. Look, don't tell him I said nothin'. In fact, forget I said anything. Bottom line, he likes you. I know because he's never invited a woman here before. Never. Plus your sassy little friend—"

"Alice?"

"That's the one. I like her. Anyway, she warned me if I let him hurt you she'd have my bald head. But that ain't gonna happen."

"And how do you know that?"

"I've known Mase my whole life. He's as good as they come. Respectful. Loves his mama but not too much." He gave me a look and I knew exactly what he meant.

Mase wasn't a complete mama's boy. It was good to know, I guessed. Though I wasn't planning on getting that deep.

"You're not gonna tell 'im I said anything, are ya?"

"Like what?" I asked.

Jasper gave me a smile and nod. "That-a girl. You're gonna fit in just fine around here." He threw his arm over my shoulder and we headed toward the back.

My stomach took a tumble when I spotted Masen through the crowd. My memory of him had nothing on how handsome he actually was. And that jaw. I could have popped my bottle top off on it.

He was sitting with some other guys, his lanky form folded into a chair and his elbows on the table. The neck of his beer bottle was clutched loosely between the fingers of one hand. He lifted the end to point it at someone, quirking his brow with a closed-mouth smile before taking a drink. Leaning back he put the bottle down on the table, the picture of cool and comfortable. The complete opposite of me. But he didn't seem to mind when he finally spotted me standing there.

"Hey, you came." He stood and embraced me in one fell swoop, catching me off guard. I had forgotten how touchy-feely he had been right off the bat the last time. It was disarming.

He had to bend slightly at the waist in order to wrap his arms around me completely. My arms opened to form a limp T until I breathed him in and slowly melded against him.

It felt so good to be held I almost cried.

All too soon he was pulling away but left his hands on either side of my waist to look me up and down before meeting my eyes.

There was a definite urge on my part to go in for a kiss, but then he turned away to stand beside me. His hand found a home in my back pocket as he introduced me to everybody at the table. When his hand slid out he let it run across my backside before pulling out a chair for me to take a seat.

He sat close to me, that same handsy hand coming to rest on the upper inside of my thigh and leaving me on the verge of spontaneously combusting as I casually sipped on my beer.

I listened while the guys talked, sharing stories about people I didn't know. Masen would clue me in on tiny details to get the gist of things by leaning in close and talking in my ear.

Whether it was conscious or subconscious, Masen's hand gently rubbed my inner thigh, working its way higher.

While these guys were laughing and having a good ole time I was faking amusement, trying to ignore how the ache between my legs was growing. So much so I had to work at not audibly panting.

Once I finished my drink I excused myself to the bathroom, making a pit stop by the bar to throw back a shot of Tequila. I was feeling it by the time I finished peeing. I was _really_ feeling myself while looking in the mirror after washing my hands. My hair was good. Boobs were perky. Belly appeared flat. Yep, taking that shot had turned out to be the absolute best decision I could have made for my self-esteem.

Wiping the corners of my mouth, I exited the bathroom into the darkened corridor. I nearly screamed when someone grabbed me by the waist and pulled me toward them.

Their body was on me as soon as mine was pressed against the wall.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since you ran out on me the other night."

The tension left my body and I relaxed when I realized it was Masen invading my space. In fact I was perfectly fine with it.

Brushing my hair behind my shoulder, he pressed his mouth to it then kissed his way up the side of my neck. His heavy breath fanned over the sensitive space behind my ear while mine filled the darkened hallway.

He didn't bother pulling back when someone passed us to head into the bathroom and I didn't push him away because honestly, I didn't want to. Running away from him once had been enough. He had me so worked up over the teasing touches under the table earlier, I was ready for him to take me right there, right against the wall.

"Is there a time you need to be back?" he asked.

I shook my head, cuddling it up against the side of his.

"I have a room upstairs for when I come down to stay. It's got a lock." I felt him smile against me and I hummed a laugh. "Would you wanna stay?"

My laughter faded. He pulled his body away from mine, caging me in place to show me what I'd be missing if I didn't.

I nodded.

Leaning in, he brushed his mouth over mine. "Good," he said against my lips. He covered them with a soft kiss, barely pulling away before coming back for another. This time a little harder, a little longer.

Grabbing his T-shirt at the waist, I pulled myself from the wall and melded my body to his. His mouth opened in invitation and I took it, sliding my tongue inside.

My mind went blank. All I could do was feel. Hard muscles, soft lips, and wet tongue that tasted like beer. His fresh, manly scent was all around me.

Before we started ripping each other's clothes off he ended the kiss and grabbed my hand, stopping by the bar for another couple of beers before heading back to our table.

His hand found its way back to my inner thigh while the guys chatted some more about their lives now compared to back then. The majority mentioned kids and their old ladies. A term Masen explained meant they were committed to each other, not necessarily married in the old fashioned sense.

"Mase and Jas here's the only two of us left with no woman, no kids. What are you waiting for, huh?"

Jas snorted. "Honestly, y'all don't exactly make it sound all that worth it."

Mase didn't offer up any thoughts on the matter. Instead he got up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and excused himself to the bathroom.

The guys seemed to become more interested in me once Masen was absent, shooting questions like where I was from, what I did, if I'd ever been married or had any kids. All information Masen already knew. The only one that really stumped me was if Masen and I were "together" or not.

"I mean, in the technical sense, I guess. I'm here with him tonight."

They all gave me the same look as if to say they couldn't argue with me there then kindly dropped the subject.

"Tell me, Bella, you ever been on the back of a bike?" One of them asked.

"I've never been on one, period."

"No …" All the guys moaned in disbelief in unison.

"Masen." One of the others shouted before he even got back in his seat. "You're tellin' us you haven't given this beautiful bird a ride? What the hell's wrong with you, man?" The man gestured me toward him. "Come on, sweetie. I'll take you for a ride if Mase here ain't man enough to do it."

"Ain't none of you takin' her anywhere," Masen declared, putting his hand back on my inner thigh like he owned it.

I had to confess, I didn't much mind.

"Well, hell then. Let's all go for a ride." The guys all agreed with a round of manly "yeahs."

Masen leaned over to speak into my ear. "What do you say? Feel like going for a ride?"

I turned my head, nearly coming nose to nose with him and smiled.

At this point I'd go anywhere and do anything with him.


	11. Chapter 11

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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11

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Masen and I stared at each other in amusement while the guys grabbed their jackets, hooting and hollering as they headed outside.

Taking my hand to help me up from the chair, Masen grabbed his own jacket, led me outside behind the biker brigade and into the cool night air. His matte black bike was parked right out front. It looked smooth and beautiful, just like him. I preferred it to the shiny ones.

"I don't know if I'm dressed for this," I pointed out, giving myself a hug and attempting to rub the goose bumps out of my arms. I knew better than to not carry a jacket with me this time of year. When the nights and early mornings were deceitfully cool but come noon you were sweating bullets.

"I got you covered," Masen said in the literal sense, covering my shoulders with his black leather jacket.

"Won't you be cold then?" I asked, pushing my arms through sleeves that were a tad too long. Pulling my hair out of the back, I laid it over my shoulder. It smelled like him. I resisted the urge to nuzzle my nose in it.

"Nah, I'll be all right. Always been especially warm-blooded. Besides, looks better on you." Masen looked me up and down. If he kept it up, I would also be too warm-blooded for a jacket.

"I only have one helmet so that'll go on you. Gotta protect that beautiful head of yours."

"What about yours? It doesn't need protecting?"

"Meh." He shrugged. "My ma's always tellin' me how I'm hard headed, so I should be okay."

That little tidbit about Masen's mom made me smile.

He buckled the old, army-style helmet under my chin then gave me a nice, chaste kiss on the lips before swinging his leg over the seat of his bike. Holding out his hand, he helped me straddle the seat behind him.

He explained where to put my feet and how to lean into the turns with him, promising if I trusted him and did what he said that the bike would not tip over. Even if it felt like it.

"Now hold on tight and keep close," Masen instructed—which wouldn't be a problem—before revving the bike to life.

Vibrations filled my whole body. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek to Masen's spine, squeezing him around the middle to bring my front flush with his back.

Pulling out from his parking spot, he made a sharp U-turn to head in the opposite direction down the street. I hugged him impossibly tighter, my splayed palms closing around the material of his T-shirt until we leveled out, and then my palms opened back up to press into the hard muscles of his chest.

Having a man between my legs seemed like something new in and of itself. Having Masen there was indescribable, much like how it felt to have the cool air blowing on my face and through my hair.

I eventually opened my eyes to watch the world fly by us. Unlike in a car, I could feel how fast we were going. It was almost like a metaphor for our relationship. I could feel it going fast. Too fast, but also not fast enough.

The longer we rode the braver I became. First by peeling the side of my face from his back to look around.

After a while I noticed I was just tall enough that my mouth could reach the back of his neck. Resting my chin against him, I slowly worked up the courage to place my lips against his skin.

He seemed to like it, leaning back into me a bit so I could kiss around to the side of his neck. One of his hands released the handle to touch my leg then work its way up to squeeze my outer thigh.

I held him closer with one hand on his chest. The other slid down to his stomach just above his jeans.

Every part of me wanted my hand to go lower and touch him. I probably would have if my antics hadn't distracted him enough to swerve.

Releasing my leg, he put both hands on the handles to gain control of the bike. Instead of being frightened I found myself amused and I giggled, pressing my cheek to his back again until he found an area to pull off on the side of the road. We'd lost the guys a while ago.

"Wow, you can see the whole town from here. It's beautiful."

Twisting at the waist, Masen grabbed me around mine, somehow simultaneously lifting and pulling me to straddle the front of the bike and face him.

"You're beautiful. You know that?" he asked, yanking me forward by my legs and placing them over his. "And sexy." Burrowing his face in my neck, he slid his hands up my thighs to palm my ass. "So fucking sexy."

My heart damn near flew out of my chest with the combination of his voice and his lips moving against me. My panties were already soaked and probably seeping through my jeans.

This would have been the perfect time to be wearing the skirt I wore the last time we were together. I wanted him inside me so bad, I didn't even care if someone drove by and saw us.

Making his way up the side of my neck, he kissed my jaw, chin, then the corner of my mouth before enveloping my lips. They were already parted, my tongue eager to brush against his again.

I never, ever wanted to stop kissing him.

Masen broke away first to catch his breath. I continued kissing. His chin. His jaw. The regal length of his neck. Before I could work my way back up, he grabbed my face and brought my lips back to his, leaning forward to achieve dominance over me.

Something my body now knew it liked with the right person.

Squeezing my waist, he slid one hand up to cover my breast.

I moaned into his mouth, surprising myself since I'd never been particularly verbal in bed. Though we weren't in a bed. A fact we both came to realize when a car drove by, flashing their brights and yelling at us to get a room.

Water was thrown on the fire but the ashes were still hot. We laughed into each other's mouths and then he pulled back to help me get on the bike behind him.

"Where to now?" Masen asked, craning his neck to glance back at me.

Planting a lingering kiss on his jaw, I squeezed him around the middle. "You heard the man. Let's get a room."


	12. Chapter 12

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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12

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Back at the clubhouse the party was still as strong as the phantom vibrations between my legs. We bypassed it all, heading upstairs to Masen's room. I didn't know what I expected to see when I entered. Posters of half-naked ladies straddling motorcycles on the walls or something. But the walls were bare and painted a nice dark gray that went well with his light gray bed set.

"So, this is all yours, huh?" I asked, just inside the doorway.

Across the room, Masen was removing his shoes. He craned his neck to give me a suspicious glare. "You making fun?"

"No, it's nice." I shut the door, making sure to lock it, and made my way over to the bed. My fingers ran along his comforter. "So …"

Before I could ask him if he stayed there often his lips were on mine, taking my breath with a hungry sweep of his tongue.

His cool hands disappeared into the jacket I was wearing, slid it off my shoulders and onto the floor. His cold fingers found my stomach next. I sucked in the breath out of his mouth, my muscles clenching as he traced the skin along my ribs. He broke the kiss long enough to pull the tank up and over my head and drop it at our feet.

Oh, wow. We were doing this.

This was happening.

Okay.

Of course I wanted it to. It was why I was here. I definitely, definitely wanted it to happen. Especially when his mouth latched on to my neck and he quickly undid my bra, letting it fall to the floor with everything else.

Unlike before, he wasted no time dipping down to take a nipple into his mouth. I let out a surprised, high-pitched moan, my knees buckling when his wet tongue swept across the hardened peak. Such contrast. The warmth of his wet mouth and cool touch.

Gripping me tighter, Masen held me up with one arm around my waist. His free hand cradled the underside of my breast as he licked and sucked me into a panting mess before moving to the other.

A needy noise escaped me. I clawed at the back of his T-shirt in an attempt to get it off of him. Getting the hint, Masen released my breast, removing his arm from around me long enough to grab the back of his collar and pull it over his head.

His lips immediately sought mine. I welcomed them eagerly, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing our naked upper bodies together. His arms wrapped around my bare back, holding me tightly to him.

All of this skin on skin action was causing a nervous system breakdown. I was on fire. Dizzy, spinning. Like my sex-deprived brain was going to explode.

Masen backed us up to the edge of the bed. Lifting me, he laid me down on it, placing himself between my legs, all without breaking the kiss.

What started out frenzied simmered to a slow, deep conversation of tongues. With one final sweep, he closed his mouth over my lower lip then released it to get up on his knees.

He watched my chest heaving from lust and lack of air before his focus shifted to the buckle of my jeans. Popping the button, he slowly undid the zipper, dipping down to kiss my lower stomach as he worked the material over my hips.

My hands found their way into his wind-wild hair. He swirled his tongue over my skin, dipping just under the top of my panties before he pulled away to drag the denim down my legs.

I'd never been so wanted that a guy undressed me before. And so far Masen had done it twice. Well, one and a half times, if undoing my top counted back at the fairgrounds before I ran away.

I wasn't running this time. Far from it.

The straps of my sandals proved to be a bit of a puzzle for him. We shared a laugh while he struggled then finally got them and my pants all the way off.

The laughter came to a halt when Masen bent down again, his warm breath blowing against the wet spot on the center of my black cotton panties. He nudged it with his nose, let out a low moan, then lightly placed a kiss on top of the thin fabric.

I nearly came on the spot.

My hips lifted from the bed to follow his mouth when he sat back on his heels. Hooking his fingers into my panties, he pulled them down my legs, haphazardly discarding them with the rest of my clothes. His hands went to my knees, coaxing them back open. He wordlessly encouraged me to spread wider, his hands guiding the backs of my legs outward while he kissed his way down the insides of my thighs.

Masen looked up into my eyes as his mouth covered me. My mouth dropped open, my head pressing into the pillow when I felt his tongue fill my slit. I double-fisted the bedspread.

Slow and steady he licked me up and down. It was the most glorious kind of torture, my whole body twitching every time he swept over my clit. Needing more, I wriggled against him. More pressure, more speed.

But oh, how I was wrong. God, how wrong I was.

The first good orgasm I'd had in years crept up on me, hitting hard then leaving hot and fast. Disappointingly fast, if I was being honest. Like maybe I'd imagined it.

Masen rose from between my legs, a couple of his fingers sticking behind to rub along my lower lips before disappearing deep inside me. Turning them pads up, he began to thrust in and up, hitting somewhere I knew existed but had never been touched.

A winded "oh God" escaped me. Masen sped up, hitting that spot over and over, filling my lower stomach with a nice pressurized heat. My hand flew to his wrist as it built, my legs spreading out and upward, inhibitions wavering. I let out a slew of moans and a few accompanying whimpers between bouts of low curses. For him to fucking stop or never fucking stop, I wasn't sure. The sensation was quickly teetering on the edge of discomfort. Too much. Way too much.

"Oh, fuck."

My breathing became labored and fast, embarrassingly so. My body began to quiver uncontrollably as the discomfort shifted into something good again. Really, really good. The first flutter deep inside turned into a swarm of them. My toes tingled as warmth overtook my body, steadily flowing to my lower stomach where it literally spilled out of me.

Uncontrollable sounds were coming out of my mouth. The kind I'd once heard in a porn collab of the best orgasms ever. And holy fuck, this one seemed to go on forever and ever and ever. Fuck!

The moans and convulsions eventually turned to shaky whimpers as I started to come down from whatever otherworldly-gasm Masen had just given me.

Masen placed himself between my legs, having completely undressed and sheathed himself at some point during my mid-orgasmic haze. I was still shaking from the aftershocks when he entered me. I more heard than felt my sharp intake of breath. Not from pain but more the sensation of being full, sensitive, and already on the verge of my third orgasm.

This kind of shit was unheard of.

Masen was bigger than anyone I'd been with. Not so much in girth but length. It hit where his fingers had and further. I was going out of my mind. Pawing at his shoulders and chest before dragging my fingers down his back and digging them into his hips.

He dropped his weight, pushing even deeper when his hips pressed firmly against me. That teetering orgasm hit hard and fast sending me into a helpless, writhing mess underneath him. He stilled inside me long enough for the contractions to stop then kicked up the pace again, relentless as he kissed me with the same feverish abandon we'd started off with. We passed moans back and forth with hungry tongues until he went up on his knees to watch my breasts bounce with his every movement. His hands squeezed them before one traveled up to the side of my neck. I wrapped my hand around his wrist as he pounded into me.

I thought for sure I was going to wake up at any moment from an unbelievably realistic wet dream. This couldn't be real. People didn't have this kind of sex in real life. At least, I never had. Nothing like this. Not with anybody.

Jesus Christ.

His hips sped up, his breathing becoming more labored, moans increasing in succession.

This, I was familiar with. The look of a man who was getting ready to come.

With one hand still around his wrist I used the other to grip his ass. I didn't have to fake the encouraging sounds escaping me.

"Oh, fuck."

I was pretty sure I was gonna come again.

"Oh, shit. Mase …"

"Yeah …"

"Ah …"

We fed off each other's groans, his thrusts becoming more erratic. My back bent off of the bed, my toes tingling as they curled into the bedspread. Both of Masen's hands flew to my hips to keep me in place the best he could while I writhed beneath, feeling myself contract around him at the same time he swelled inside me. With a final, satisfied grunt his hands slid up my sides. He placed his forehead on mine for a moment to catch his breath then kissed my lips before climbing from between my legs to clean himself up.

I lay there naked and exposed, unsure if I should get up and get dressed and get out of there. But then Masen turned to look back at me, the towel in his hand just covering him, a lazy smile on his face. Dropping the towel he walked back over to the bed. He bent down and gave me a closed mouth kiss, sneaking one arm under my legs and the other behind my shoulders to pick me up while simultaneously pulling back the covers. A tiny squeal escaped me when he tossed me over to the far side of the bed. Turning off the light, he climbed in beside me, lying on his back.

"Come 'ere." He encouraged me to lie in the crook of his arm. When I cuddled up next to him he let out a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes, his fingers gliding up and down my back, summoning sleep.

I woke sometime in the middle of the night in desperate need of a bathroom. Crawling out of the bed as quietly as I could I cursed the fact Masen didn't have his own bathroom then collected my clothes. As I slipped on my last shoe Masen shifted, turning to face where I had just been lying. Instead of wrapping his arm around my body he hugged the pillow.

Stepping up to the bed, I watched him for a few moments then lightly ran my fingers along the sharp edge of his face.

It was hard leaving him there, his back lit up by the moonlight. However, becoming absolutely necessary in order to find a bathroom.

Without the sight of him to change my mind I snuck out the front door instead of back in his warm bed with him and headed home where I belonged.

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I mean, how does she not belong back in bed with Masen?


	13. Chapter 13

Betad by kitchmill. I think. Either way mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

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13

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LLLLLOLLLLL

Some of y'all pissed Bella left. I love y'all but bet my ass would leave, too haha! She's been thinking of him as a one night stand all along (in thought and conversation) Of course it's also a self defense mechanism. And what fun would it be if the guy didn't do a little bit of chasing? In this case a lot of it lol

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"So, let me get this straight." Alice reached for another loaded nacho. "You got dicked," she said before stuffing her mouth with it. Chewing quickly, she swallowed. "Then you ditched." Sucking on her soda, she shook her head. "Wow. I'm just ... so fucking proud of you."

"Stop."

"I'm serious."

"I know you are. Stop."

Giving me a serious look, Alice placed her hand on my shoulder and started to sing. "Did you ever know that you're my heroooo …"

"I said stop!" Trying to sound stern didn't work so well when I was laughing. "And don't say a thing to Ang. The last thing I need is her starting another prayer chain for me. I feel sinful enough already."

Alice pouted; seeing Angie's shocked face was one of her favorite pastimes. Even better when she was the one who made her make it.

"So, are you going to see him again?"

"I doubt it."

"But why not?" Alice scoffed. "There's only two reasons a guy fucks like that: either he's getting paid or he's totally into you. I mean, four times?" Alice held up four of her fingers and pointed to each of them as if she were teaching a Preschool class to count. "I haven't even given myself that many O's in one go. And I've tried."

Both her and Jasper produced TMI. They were a match made in Hell.

"Please tell me you'll go back. And take me with you. Maybe his friend taught him those moves."

"I'm pretty sure a healthy dose of porn taught him those moves. But I'll think about it. Once my vajay heals up."

Girl talk was cut short when the door flew open and in ran Brady, heading for the stairs. "Hey, kiddo. What are you doing back so early?"

"Why? You don't want me around now like Dad either?"

My mouth dropped open, not sure what to say at first.

Looking hurt, Brady sprinted up the stairs.

"Hey no, Brady …"

Emmett stomped in next, dropping Brady's bag next to the door.

"What the hell is going on? What did you do?" I asked, not giving two shits if Alice was front row for the show.

"What did I do?" Emmett pointed to his chest. "That kid of yours has it out for me." He pointed to where Brady disappeared up the steps.

"Seriously, Emmett?" I sighed, fed up with his nonsense. It was always something.

"Seriously, Bella. Not only did he throw a PlayStation remote and break it, he put a hole in the wall then told me to fuck off when I told him he'd be replacing it by doing chores around the house."

I could see Alice gumming her lips, trying not to laugh, out of the corner of my eye.

"Have you said something to him about me not giving you money for shit?"

I leveled Emmett a look. "Please. You know I'd never do that."

"Well, somebody has 'cause he threw that in my face when I mentioned working to replace the remote. Said I didn't pay for any of his things so why did he have to pay for mine."

"And what'd you say?"

"Told 'im I didn't go around breaking his shit. There's a difference."

"Nice," I said more to myself than anybody, rubbing my forehead. "Okay. Well, why did he throw the remote in the first place? I mean, he hasn't thrown anything but a football since he turned five."

"Ya got me. Pissed at the game probably. Fuck if I know."

I rolled my eyes. It was a wonder that kind of talk hadn't come out of Brady's mouth sooner. "Well, did you ask him what had him so upset?"

"Uh, no. I was kinda pissed since I rent the place. No way I'm getting my deposit back now."

God forbid.

"What were you doing while he was playing? Were you in the room with him?"

"In and out, I guess."

"Okay, so were you actually trying to spend any time with him or …"

Emmett shrugged. "He seemed content to play by himself and I had shit to do."

"Yeah, like that stupid blonde chick you had over or the redhead at the diner that one time," Brady chimed in from the top of the stairs. "He ignored me then, too. He always ignores me. He doesn't want me there, so I don't wanna go over there anymore. Besides, those girls smell weird, Mom. And they dress like the ones Newt and I saw standing on the corner that one time Coach took us to the city for the ballgame. He called them ladies of the night, whatever that means."

Alice snorted. I smacked her in the arm.

I was gonna have to have a chat with Mike later.

"And I can't stand their laughs. All _ha ha ha." _Brady imitated high pitched laughter, flinging his limp wrists around.

I had to gum my lips at that one. Brady had always been funny, especially without meaning to be.

"You're not that funny, Dad. I don't see why they're always laughing all the time. It's so annoying."

Even though I was partially amused, I was sure my face was flaming red with anger. Not because I was jealous. Far from it. The blonde and the redhead could have Emmett separate or at the same time. I didn't care either way. What I cared about was the fact that Emmett and I had talked about the prospect of bringing other people around our kid. We had agreed on no introductions until we had been dating exclusively for a while and we each had to meet that other person first or all together at the same time. No exceptions. What the hell had he been thinking? And why was I only just now hearing about this from Brady? Was Emmett having my kid keep things from me too now?

Standing, I headed toward Emmett who had every right to look as ashamed as he did.

"Can I talk to you for a minute? Outside." I jerked my head.

Emmett nodded once, keeping his head hanging down.

All self-righteous, I opened the front door to lay into the sneaky, lying father of my child only to find my own secret shame standing on the other side, fist up at the ready to knock.

Masen, Emmett, and I just stood there. Me staring at Masen. Masen looking at me then to Emmett. I didn't even have to look over at Emmett to know they were sizing each other up.

"Brady, why don't you come with me to the kitchen," Alice suggested. "I brought some cookies."

"Triple chocolate chip?"

"Are there any other kind?"

Brady stomped down the steps and into the kitchen with Alice. The tightness in my shoulders loosened only minutely.

"Who are you?" Emmett asked. Before Masen could answer, Emmett cut him off. "Bella, who the hell is this?"

"Sorry. Um … Masen, this is Emmett, Brady's dad. Emmett, this is Masen ..." I had no idea how to introduce the guy. As the one who gave me four orgasms last night? Somehow I didn't think Emmett would appreciate that.

"And just what the hell is _Masen_ doing here? Y'all have a date? Am I sensing a bit of hypocrisy here?"

"No, we don't have a date. And, hypocrisy? Really? Even if we did have a date you weren't supposed to have Brady home until tomorrow evening."

Emmett fumed. "So you admit it. You're dating. Is he the reason you didn't answer any of my texts last night?" He turned his attitude on Masen. "Are you the reason? Are you fucking _my_ woman?"

"I'm not ... I'm not his woman," I assured Masen, which was embarrassing to have to do. How dare Emmett try and make me feel like I'd done something wrong when, in reality, I'd done nothing wrong at all.

"That's not what you were saying the other day."

I gave Emmett a very angry, very confused look.

"Ya know, in the kitchen. When we were talking about having another kid."

"Oh, you mean when you groped me against my will then brought up the subject of more children? Honestly, Emmett."

Masen gave Emmett a glare, or perhaps it was a _what the fuck_ stare. It was hard to tell.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to hear any of this," I said to Masen, completely mortified.

"You're right, he shouldn't be here."

"That's not what I said." I pretty much whispered to myself but the look in Masen's eyes told me he'd heard it.

I gave him a tight smile with an accompanying look to say _see what my life consists of? See what I have to deal with? What you'd have to deal with if you got mixed up with me?_ Even if I'd entertained the notion of seeing him again, there was no way it was happening now. Not after witnessing the level of crazy he'd have to put up with.

"I think it's time you left," Emmett said.

I opened my mouth to suggest Emmett take his own advice and leave when Alice walked up behind us.

"I've got an idea," she said instead. "How about the both of you leave and Bella here will contact you if and when she wishes." Alice may have been petite but she stood just as tall as the next guy when getting down to business. "How 'bout that?"

"That sounds more than fair." Masen finally got a word in. "I shouldn't have dropped by like this. I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Ignoring Emmett's mouth Masen gave a curt nod. "You ladies have a good night. And, Bella, just call me if you need _anything_."

"She already has someone to call. You got me? So thanks for the offer, but no thanks."

Masen had already turned to leave. Emmett waited on the porch until he disappeared around the block on his bike before taking off himself.

Alice and I joined Brady in the kitchen to chow down on some triple chocolate cookies. To my surprise he asked nothing of Masen, his dad, or what had happened. Instead he begged to go over to the Newtons'.

For the first time ever I agreed with no hesitation, sending Alice on her way so I could walk over with Brady and have a much needed chat with Mike. I'd address Brady's attitude sometime later. I only had so much energy.

Grabbing my sweater off the back of the kitchen chair, I gestured for Brady to lead the way out so I could lock up.

We were about halfway to the Newtons' when Brady's curiosity got the better of him.

"Who was that guy Dad was yelling at at the door today?"

Oh boy. What to say, what to say?

"His name's Masen. I met him while working the raffle booth at the rodeo. He bought a lot of tickets to help buy you guys your equipment this year. He's friendly so he invited Alice and me back later that night to meet some of his friends."

"The night you and Alice went out? That's who you were with?"

"Yes. That was who I was with the night Alice and I went out."

"So is he your boyfriend? Is he going to be hanging around?" Brady asked, head down, hands in his pockets as he kicked at a rock.

"No. No, it's nothing like that. We're just friends." With really great benefits.

At least, we were.

Just that one time, though. Any future romps were probably out of the question after the show he witnessed today. "You're still the most important guy in my life." I ruffled his hair. "Promise."

With a smirk, he ducked out of my reach, leaving me a few steps behind as we crossed the street.

As usual, Brady walked right into Mike's and I followed, finding Mike in the kitchen mixing up some instant mac and cheese.

"Bella, hey. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you. If you want I can make another box."

Holding my hand up, I passed. "That won't be necessary, Mike. But I will take a drink. Something stiff, straight up. Best you pour yourself one, too, because I'm not here for dinner. I'm here to discuss the _ladies of the night _with you."

Mike's face visibly paled. He stopped stirring and cleared his throat. "Whiskey okay?"

"Whiskey would be perfect."

…

Newt and Brady had fallen asleep long before Mike and I finished off the last of the bottle. I left my kid where he was, sprawled out on the Newtons' couch, and headed home alone.

Always the gentleman, Mike stood on his porch making sure I made it safe. After unlocking the door, I grabbed the mail, giving him a wave goodnight before stepping inside.

Flipping the light on, I shielded my face with what I'd grabbed out of the mailbox. Once my eyes adjusted I could make out the familiar scroll that was scribbled on a torn piece of paper at the top of the pile.

_Regardless of what happened today, I still want to see you again. _

_Your call,_

_Mase_

* * *

Alright. Listen, guys. 2019 has whooped my ass. Can we just be done already?

Anyway ...

Hood and I are working on an entry for the 911First Responders Contest!

To look up the page all you have to do is change the search option to Author and type in 911First Responders Contest

Go and follow to get notifications for when they start posting!


	14. Chapter 14

Betad by kitchmill. Mistakes are my own.

Preread by Hoodie.

* * *

14

* * *

A few weeks went by where I hardly heard from Emmett. Just a random text here and there, asking if I wanted to go to dinner or a movie, just him and me. No mention of Brady or asking how he was doing, so I ignored him.

On my days off I made it my mission to focus on Brady. We rode our bikes to the park and had a picnic. Quality time didn't last long after he took one bite of his sandwich then took off for the monkey bars.

I even sucked it up and went with him, Newt, and Mike to a professional football game, suffering through the buttnumbing three-and-a-half-hour game and feigning interest. It was torture. But at least there was food and beer to tide me over.

Thankfully, it was an early game so no ladies of the night were included in this trip. Mike had explained everything and apologized for taking the kids on a joyride around the city so late at night. The kids were relentless though, wanting to experience what it was like in the more seedy parts of town. I couldn't really blame them since I'd always been curious what real life was like in the big city. But I was older now. My interests had changed drastically. All I saw was the danger, none of the excitement.

Being the terrible mother I was, I made Brady suffer through a board game night in exchange for playing video games with him the night before. Though, secretly I think he enjoyed kicking my butt at Trouble, which was kind of ironic.

And even though he claimed he was too old to be tickled, he still kicked and giggled, sometimes screamed when I did it anyway.

Every time I tried to bring up the subject of his dad, Brady shut down. So I just reminded him that he loved him no matter what and that he could talk to me about anything he wanted, any time. Or Mike, or Alice for that matter. Someone was always there for him. But under no circumstances were adult words supposed to be used with them.

"What about your friend? The one Dad doesn't like? What if I want to talk to him?" Brady had asked. I didn't know what to say other than he lived out of town, which seemed to be enough to placate him for now.

Slowly but surely my sweet kid stopped moping around and was coming back to the energetic, funny, sarcastic eight-year-old he usually was. As his mom, I always wanted to see him like this and hoped it would last forever and everything would be all right. I was optimistic, but also realistic.

One Friday afternoon Emmett showed up to Brady's football practice unannounced, surprising just about everyone in the stands. Plopping down bedside me, he hooted and hollered, cheering Brady on as if nothing had happened between the two of them a few weeks before. As if he hadn't spent the last few weeks not speaking to his child. You had to admire his God-given ability to be oblivious.

"That's my boy!" he barked when Brady made a tackle. Keeping his eyes on the field, he leaned in closer to me. "I want to take him for the weekend. I'll drop him off at school Monday morning. If that's okay."

"I don't have a bag packed."

"That's okay. I've got some stuff at my place. Bought him a few things to keep there for when he stays."

I had to admit, I was somewhat impressed with this information.

"You promise no women while he's around?"

"No women. I know. I'm sorry about that."

"And you're gonna stay off your phone? Actually pay attention to your kid?"

"As soon as we get to my place I'll turn it off. Scouts honor. I want to make this up to him, B. I want him to want to come to my place and spend time with me. I want you to both want to spend time with me. I miss you guys."

"Don't tell me. Tell him." I jerked my head toward the field where the kids broke the huddle to start packing up their things.

Emmett took off for the field to help Brady with the last of his equipment. I guessed Brady agreed to go with his dad when he turned to give me a wave before they walked off in the direction of the parking lot together.

"So, you're a free woman," Alice said after Angie gathered her knitting material and went to get her son. "What are you gonna do about it?"

…

The sun was just setting when I pulled into my driveway. I sat in the car for a few minutes listening to the radio then switched it off and sat there a few moments more before finally getting out.

I stared at the mailbox before opening it to find a stack of bills and a single rose. Pulling it out, I gave it a sniff, closing my eyes as a small smile tugged at my lips.

I still hadn't texted Masen so he still didn't have my number. But that didn't stop him from getting ahold of me. Every Friday he left a single rose in my mailbox to let me know he was back in town and where I could find him. Surely there was much easier ass to get his hands on out there. I had to hand it to the guy. He knew how to make a booty call feel like something special.

I left the bills and my keys on the table beside the door but took the rose up to my room with me. After taking a shower, I spent the better part of an hour staring at the wall before making myself get up, get dressed, and dry my hair so it wouldn't turn to icicles if I decided to go out.

I almost didn't go. I almost turned around and went home. I almost didn't get out of my car when I finally got to where I was going. But then I thought about not going in. I thought about going back home to no one. I thought about not seeing Masen again, not feeling him on, around, or inside me ever again. The thought of not being with him hurt more than knowing this was the only way I could.

Masen's bike was outside so I knew he was there. It was the only thing that gave me the balls big enough to walk into the place by myself.

I got a lot of looks just like last time. Unlike last time, no one catcalled or tried to get my attention.

"You're Masen's girl, right?" the woman behind the bar asked. Her blonde hair was frizzy and unnatural. Tits were busting out of the top and sides of the leather vest she was wearing.

"I'm here to see him, yes."

Rag in hand, she pointed to the stairs. "Should be up there."

"Pouting," one of the guys I recognized from the other weekend added. "Maybe now that you're here he'll stop being such a pussy and join us for more than a beer or two."

Thanking the barmaid I headed upstairs. I stood outside Masen's room, my hand on the knob until I worked up enough courage to actually go in. The last time I saw him I wasn't put in the most flattering of light with Emmett making me sound like a two-timing whore and all. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed. Just apparently not enough to scare either one of us off. Yet.

When I entered I found him lounging on the bed, shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweats. The summer tan on his stomach had faded but his tattoos were as vivid as the day I met him. The light scruff on his face was nearing a full-grown beard. Either way, he looked good enough to eat.

I backed up against the door to close and lock it. He looked up from the book he was reading, shut it, tossed it aside, and sat up, his abs straining when he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Wordless, I made my way over to stand between his knees, his hypnotic scent encompassing me.

And there I stood, makeupless in front of him. My hair dried straight, probably frizzing around my face. I didn't even look in the mirror after pulling on a pair of black leggings and my favorite oversized, black and red flannel, tied just below the waist. Still, Masen looked at me like he wanted all of me, polished and pretty or not. He'd take it.

Reaching up, he slowly started undoing the buttons of my shirt. Once he got halfway down and saw I was braless he palmed my tits then rested his forehead between them.

His thumbs brushed over my nipples. He ran his nose up the skin over my sternum then placed his lips on me.

My hands went for the rest of the buttons of my shirt and untied the knot while he placed soft, lingering kisses across my chest.

The shirt fell from my arms to the floor, my fingers coming up to scratch the edges of his beard as his dipped under the waist of my leggings and dragged them down my legs. I toed off my boots and the last of the leggings as gracefully as I could, guiding his lips from my chest to my mouth while simultaneously straddling his lap.

His arms wrapped around me just tight enough to extract a needy noise from my throat. He moaned into my mouth, sounding equally as desperate for me as I was for him.

My hands ran through his hair and over his beard then wrapped around his neck. He lifted us both to scoot back on the bed, unwrapping one arm from around my waist in an attempt to yank down one side of his sweats. I grabbed the other side, dragging the elastic down to his knees then lined his cock with my entrance, shocking us both when I sank down on it.

He groaned at the same time I sucked in a sharp breath, letting his head fall back and hit the wall. His eyes rolled back just before he closed them. His fingers dug into my thighs.

When I started to move, those dark, green eyes opened slightly, looking up into mine through hooded lids. He watched me bounce and grind against his groin, taking what I needed until I was quaking on top of him.

Leaning forward, he splayed his hands across my back and placed his forehead against my chest.

"You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?" he asked, thrusting upward while forcing me down onto him.

I moaned, wrapping my arms around his neck. Not only did it feel good being impaled, it made me feel powerful knowing that I had such an impact on him, too.

"Jesus, I missed you. This body. Fuck." Masen thrusted into me again, holding me against him, his hips jolting in an attempt to get deeper as he came.

We held each other for a few moments, his forehead against my chest. My cheek rested on top of his head until he lifted it, fluidly flipping us so he was on top before pulling out and flopping down beside me.

He didn't seem bothered by or in any hurry to clean up the mess, instead grabbing my hip and urging me to turn his way.

My first instinct was to resist. Lying on my side was the least flattering position for the remaining loose skin on my stomach. But I pushed my insecurities aside as much as I possibly could and faced him.

He squeezed my hip then wiggled down in the bed to nuzzle his scratchy beard into my belly and sighed. "Wasn't sure when I was gonna see you again. If I was gonna see you again."

I hadn't been all that sure either.

"And that would have been a bad thing?" My hand found its way into his hair on its own accord.

Masen glanced up at me. "A very bad thing."

I was pretty sure I gave him a small smile but couldn't be sure. "I didn't figure you for the masochistic type." My fingers combed through the underside of his beard.

"How's that now?" Masen looked up. I just caught a glimpse of those green eyes before looking away.

"You were there that day. You see what I have to deal with. And it's not going to stop. It never stops. Honestly, I'm surprised you even want me here when there's women out there with less baggage." And younger, and tighter, and with less stretch marks at that.

By the end of my rant Masen had propped himself up on his elbow, facing me.

"Bella, crazy ex or not, I'm into you. More than any woman I've ever been with."

I was equal parts flattered and jealous of all these other women.

"I want to see more of you."

I glanced down between us at my naked body.

Masen huffed out a laugh. "Not like that … Not just like that. I mean, more of this, yes." He honed in on my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin. "Fuck yes."

His lewd language caused my stomach to do a somersault. It did it again when he guided me onto my back and nudged himself between my legs. His lips descended on mine as he slipped inside me again, his eyes never leaving mine until it was too much for either of us not to close them.


End file.
